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Creating the smooth, flawless buttercream finish you often find on professionally made cakes comes with practice. It also comes with the knowledge of a few insider techniques.
So, some simple secrets from a pro baker’s kitchen, straight to yours. These are three of the easiest ways we get that gorgeous finish on our layer cakes.
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Quick, can you name all seven layers in a seven-layer dip? If you can, you’re invited to join me on Team Party Dip. This team knows that a party is only as good as its best dip, and a classic seven-layer dip with all its spicy Southwestern goodness is a guaranteed win at the party.
Even if you’re skeptical of all those layers, I’m willing to bet we’ll find you hovering over the dish within five minutes of walking in the door.
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Even if you haven’t tasted it in years, one bite of boxed cake mix has a sweet way of churning up nostalgic feelings that leave a smile on your face. Sure, baking cakes and cupcakes are the obvious ways to go when handed a box, but they only scratch the surface of all the surprising and playful things this ingredient can do.
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As someone in his early sixties, I feel like I’m sometimes asked to be a spokesman for those in the “older” generations who are adamant (or even defiant) about staying smack in the center of life. I make no bones about my “live long, drop dead” philosophy (I even made accessories to the effect.) Numerous times I’ve shared that in some ways I’m just reaching what I consider my peak. There are days I genuinely think I’ve never had more fun, contentment and satisfaction in my life than I do right now. Unfortunately, the dominant culture pushes a different message for those of us over 50 (and definitely over 60). I’m talking about the message that these decades inevitably put us on the sidelines, ushering in an inevitable fade-out of all our faculties and enjoyments. But guess what? I’m here to tell you some good news: that doesn’t have to be your destiny. In fact, there’s a whole lot to look forward to as you grow older.
It’s yet another bizarre, perturbing product of modernism that we don’t focus on the positive aspects of aging. The historical and sociological truth is that cultures throughout time have paid exceptional honor, respect, and social currency to their elders—and for good reason. Our primal ancestors undoubtedly depended on those with the most life experience to help support and teach critical survival skills and adaptive reasoning.
In fact, a pivotal cultural boon in humanity’s evolution some 30,000-35,000 years ago came in large part, experts suggest, because of increasing longevity. Longer average lifespans meant more older people around who could pass on information and show the rest of the group how it’s done—not to mention offer childrearing support for the young members of their groups. The more life experience Grandpa Grok had, the more practice of many arts he could draw (and teach) from. The more years Grok had seen, the more scenarios and outcomes he could recall for reasoning and anticipating current conflicts and crises. Knowledge matters for survival, and without ample means of recording information (minus cave drawings), it needed to come straight from the direct instruction of older generations themselves.
But I get it. In a society where aging too often coincides with the automatic surrender to preventable lifestyle diseases, we can get a grossly skewed impression. That said, when we take care of ourselves with a mind toward compressed morbidity (living as well and able-bodied as possible to the very end), our later decades can be some of our most satisfying. Maybe it’s time I accept that poster boy challenge after all.
Sure, when I was younger I wouldn’t have anticipated this turn of events. I was too busy doing, striving, training, moving onto the next thing. As exciting as those years were with an elite athletic profession, a succession of business ventures, and (later) two small children, I frankly wouldn’t trade what I have now to go back. I was often tired, anxious, overworked, overtrained and, well, unhealthy compared to how I feel now. These days I’m enjoying so many things I didn’t have the time, focus or priorities to appreciate then. And it’s not just a matter of the dust having settled. I’m still busy! But there are aspects of me that have fundamentally changed—aspects that could only transform over the long arc of time and experience.
In unfortunate contrast, youth more than ever today is set on a precarious pedestal with the message that these are your glory days; the only days you’ll feel good and be the center of attention. From a health perspective, it’s often a case of better live it up before your crummy habits catch up with you. From a developmental perspective, however, there’s something maybe even sadder—the assumption that your best times, your biggest joys, your most valuable achievements are behind you two to three decades in. No wonder so many young people struggle emotionally these days.
Before I get to the research—to the specifics and stories—let me offer this in no uncertain terms. If you expect your life to be a static continuum of the same activities and ventures, the same routines and figures with equal to increasing gratification, you’ll very likely be disappointed.
On the other hand, if you’re willing to trust your own life as an exploration through varying phases, interests and redirects, you’ll find that your later decades hold as much (if not more) capacity for depth, joy and enrichment as your younger years. Certainly good health can and will help, but attitude (I’ve so often said it) ultimately determines your course. And that (more than health) is always a choice. That crabby older man you know was probably a crabby younger man. Age, like alcohol, exacerbates the traits that were already there.
As in every transition—whether it be reclaiming health, choosing a new career path, or having a child, your willingness to change and be changed will largely determine your success and contentment.
Now let’s dig into some of these benefits.
There is something to the idea that (many) people mellow with age. Studies suggest that people in their later decades have an easier time regulating their emotions, particularly anger. While we might all develop our emotional awareness, as we age those emotions tend to crowd out less. In research scenarios, older adults reported better capacity for resisting impulsive responses and for maintaining goal-directed behavior. Likewise, older study participants showed heightened “clarity of emotions” and better regulation strategies than their younger counterparts.
I’ve heard many people say as much, but there’s solid research to back up this assertion. Older adults put a higher value and attention on the emotional dimensions of their interactions with others. As a result, they may be more attuned to other people in their relationships and, in conjunction with their greater emotional regulation, more able to listen and respond empathetically. Additionally, research shows, they’re better at recalling the emotional dimension of their interactions and experiences. I’ve heard people say they’ve gotten “soft” or “sentimental” in their “old age.” In truth, it’s likely a growing capacity for compassion and a deeper appreciation for the less obvious gifts and meaning within their experiences.
A few years ago multiple national and international studies suggested people around the globe commonly experience happiness in a “U-shaped pattern” over the course of their lifetimes. Although where this pattern fell within particular ages varied from culture to culture, the pattern held as a seemingly universal experience. Researchers even noted that apes appeared to move through the same model based on their caretakers’ reports.
Study authors noted that the midpoints generally represented the most crowded years when people are likely to feel overwhelmed by responsibilities and perhaps disillusioned with certain paths they’d chosen. Yet, something shifts that swings happiness upward again, whether it be acceptance of their circumstances, a round of achievements, a lightening of the load, or a renewal through new interests or opportunities.
Yup, that’s right—new. All the talk today is usually about maintaining what we have, and while that’s important, aging offers its own novel benefits on the neurological front.
In the latter half of life, the two hemispheres of the brain increasingly integrate and functionally intertwine. Additionally, our “patterning” capacity (the ever complexifying networking of our many ideas and experiences that create new connections and combinations) further develops in these decades.
While these likely are meant to help compensate for the minor declines in certain cognitive abilities such as working memory, these enhanced means of cognitive integration open the door for more creative thought and advanced reasoning.
An Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research poll found that 9 out of 10 workers over the age of fifty were very or somewhat satisfied in their current jobs and were happier in their positions than younger workers. Not only do many older workers enjoy a greater sense of security because of higher income and promotions, but they reported also feeling more respected in their workplaces.
There’s a certain gratification that comes with appreciating a long span of growth and accomplishment in a given field or across fields for those who have changed career tracks. In the later years, when it’s typically less about striving, you may have a unique opportunity to look back and recognize the gifts and lessons of your professional development.
Let’s be honest. When we’re young, we’re winging it. There’s a thrill to this exploratory, experimental time. Anything can feel possible. It’s vital to go through that period, to know that brand of euphoric, idealistic fervor—and, yet, it’s not the end-all.
In our later years, a deeper patience often settles in—a patience and present-mindset that softens the emotional impact of any decline we might see in ourselves perhaps, but also a patience with the world around us. Having seen so much of life at that point, our youthful idealism might wear differently these days, but it doesn’t necessarily change our enthusiasm or drive. Purpose matters in these decades, but it may become more personal as we home in on our remaining time to live life and achieve the changes we want to see.
Older adults are also better, research tells us, at focusing on the positive in life. In studies, older adults were more likely to remember positive than negative images or recall “false positives.”
So what does this all come down to?
With age, you can gain the unprecedented gift of the bigger perspective—on your own life and more.
While I’m grateful for all the challenges and phases and joys of my younger days, there’s a sense of groundedness, self-possession and culmination I get to enjoy now.
As something called socioemotional selectivity theory suggests, we become more content with life as we age and grow more conscious of our limited number of years left. Our mortality settles in, and there’s a kickstart response to that. We feel called to take our lives more seriously, to make our experiences count and to be grateful for the life we have today. Some people call it making peace with one’s life—moving through the last years and decades with a maturity to accept life on life’s terms (termination included) but to still find your way through it with more gratitude and gracefulness.
This is the part my thirty-something self never would’ve been able to fully, viscerally understand (beyond mere intellectual comprehension) because it wasn’t the task of that stage and shouldn’t be. With years comes a greater appreciation for the composite—how we’ve lived our own lives and how we still wish to experience it. But it also brings a greater reverence for continuity—the overarching human story we get to play a part in for a little while. It simultaneously helps keep me rooted in the immediate present and expands my awe for all the possibilities I’ve seen, will see and won’t have a chance to see in this lifetime.
Thanks for reading today, everyone. I’d love to hear what’s been true for you about the benefits of later decades—the ones you anticipated and maybe those you never saw coming. Have a great end to the week.
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Weddings are expensive — everybody knows that. But there are a million different ways to save and stretch a budget. Most people start by nixing the open bar. From the beginning, my fiancé and I knew there was no way we were going to do that. Here’s why.
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When you’re looking for something beyond vanilla, but still aiming to please a crowd, try a classic lemon cake. Something as simple as lemon might get overlooked in a world of salted caramel, velvety raspberry, and matcha-everything, but this lemon supreme cake is anything but ordinary. With three layers of lemon-soaked cake blanketed in satiny vanilla buttercream, this little cake makes for an exceptional dessert for anything from a bridal brunch to afternoon tea to a birthday party.
Originally posted at: http://www.nerdfitness.com/
This is a post from NF Wordsmith Taylor.
Excuses are a tricky subject. Try to point out an excuse to a friend, and you’re sure to get blasted with his or her wrath, being called an insensitive jerk:
“Easy for you to say!”
“You have NO idea what it’s like.”
“You don’t have this shit to deal with!”
On the other hand, when we can really break through and talk honestly and with some vulnerability, excuses we’ve championed for years can be pierced instantly:
“Wow, maybe I do have time, but it’s just that I haven’t made it a priority.”
“I do have some medical issues, but I’ve been using that as an excuse to do nothing all these years.”
We all play this game of life on different difficulty levels. We begin in different starting areas, with different gear, and different advantages and disadvantages. That’s just how the game works. Our job is to make the most of the hand we’ve been dealt. And it’s only us that can change us.
Only me that can change me. Only you that can change you.
Just take a moment to consider the implications of that: It doesn’t matter how bad you’ve had it. It doesn’t matter how busy you are or how much easier others may have it.
If you want to be healthy (or accomplish something else), it’s up to you to find a path to get there. It might be slow. It might take some trial and error. But nobody can do it for you. One day YOU have to decide: “I am going to do this.”
Finally putting an excuse to rest can be indescribably hard; these self-limiting ideas can be shapeshifters, holding many forms. That’s because when you really believe something, it can be incredibly painful drop the excuse.
A few weeks ago we destroyed the “I’m too old” excuse. If you’ve been holding onto the belief that you are too old, finally letting go means facing the fact that you’ve wasted all that time. Your mind may even jump to imagine all the months and years that you could’ve been in shape. Now, if you were wrong and could’ve made changes ages ago, it can feel embarrassing, possibly even shameful. “How could I be that stupid?” In that moment we feel this all at once, and it’s so easy to recoil and say: “Nah, I’m right, I can’t do ___ because ___!”
That way, we don’t have to face this pain (as silly and fleeting as it is). And yeah, it’s natural to want to save yourself the pain…
But the often the ONLY way to grow and be better is to accept this reality and experience this all as it is. The story of the Phoenix reminds us that rising anew and transformed (even in the smallest of ways) requires a process that can feel a lot like death.
These self-limiting beliefs – these excuses aren’t always verbally said out loud to friends and family, or even to ourselves consciously. It’s often quiet mental chatter – an under-the-surface reason not to do something:
I’m probably too old. I’m probably too fat. I just don’t have time. I’m injured/still recovering. I’m trapped in a glass case of emotion.
In all of these cases, we’re giving up control of our situations for something that feels like it’s outside of our domain. But it’s not. We’re tricking ourselves.
Remember: Despite the absolute truth of the difficulty embedded in your excuse, the only person in the world that can do something about it is you. And there is always SOMETHING you can do to better yourself. No matter how futile the effort might seem, it is worth it.
You can change, though it might be a painful realization. Sometimes, life helps us along a little bit. Sometimes, we have to do all the work ourselves to see it. But if life does show us how we’ve been fooling ourselves, we better seize the opportunity.
That’s why I want you to hear from Kevin: a guy who’s done exactly that. Over the past few years, he’s not only managed to completely transform his body and career, but also his outlook on life along the way!
Kevin’s journey perfectly illustrates how excuses can seem so powerful when they have a hold over us. But once they are [hulk]smashed, they are revealed for the illusions they really are!
Taylor: Kevin, thanks so much for sharing some of your story with us. I’d love to hear about the old Kevin.
Kevin: The ‘worst’ version of Kevin wakes up late for work because he stayed up into stupid hours playing Borderlands. On the way, maybe he sneaks in a cigarette that he hopes no one knows about and slugs gross amounts of Diet Coke in order to prop his eyes open. Breakfast required way too much planning, but lunch never came early enough, so Old Kevin probably walks across the street around 11am and buys the big bag of Chester’s hot fries. On the way back to his office he feels the eyes of his coworkers move back and forth between his purchase and his growing midsection. He self-consciously says something about making them last the rest of the week, but he and everyone else knows they will be gone by the end of the day.
Old Kevin drives to McDonald’s for lunch and then finishes out the work day. At home, Old Kevin goes back to Borderlands so he can forget that there aren’t many people in his phonebook that he can call. That’s not even true… Borderlands is just way easier.
Taylor: Knowing you (as a volunteer at Camp Nerd Fitness) and talking to you now, I can’t even imagine you as the Old Kevin (For those of you at home, that’s Kevin Deadlifting at Camp). Did you know things were bad?
Kevin: Yea, I started to look and feel like the worst version of myself. I gained over 20lbs in one winter. I felt like crap everyday, and began dealing with undiagnosed depression. This was early 2013.
Taylor: So, tell me about the moment of change. Was there one? How did you break through this seemingly impenetrable wall of excuses?
Kevin: My biggest excuse for not investing in my health and fitness was that I was in a place in my life where thought I needed to focus on my career. I couldn’t go to the gym because I needed to prove my value by spending more time at the office.
My first performance review shattered that excuse. I received what felt like mediocre marks, and a mediocre raise. It felt like I was getting nowhere. Pair that with the idea that I had no other options and you get a pretty uninspired Kevin who felt really, really stuck.
Taylor: Tell me more about these excuses. What did breaking through look like?
My personal brand of bullshit was pretty brilliant. I hid behind bullshit stories like “bloom where you’re planted” and “be so good they can’t ignore you,” so that I wouldn’t have to make moves and do scary things. That way I could still feel like I was building something, when I was really just hiding.
The problem was that every chapter of my life felt like another episode of Pinky and the Brain. I’d work really hard to try and take over the world only to fail miserably and be reminded that I was spending most of my time trapped in a laboratory cage. You don’t end up where you want to go by finally getting that raise, or obtaining a superhero body. You can only ditch anxiety and sleep peacefully at night when you know with certainty that you are walking your path. That path will always lead to growth.
Taylor: So, you got started with diet and exercise? What did you do exactly?
The first 3 months were extremely rocky. I hadn’t really done any studying at that point, so I was doing a lot of really stupid crap to try to lose the weight. I found it impossible to lose more than 6lbs! I even got discouraged and gave up for a while. When I got back after it, paired my gym efforts with a search for good information. Nerd Fitness and the Nerd Fitness Academy was a cornucopia of information and resources, and I gathered everything I could.
The most consistent thing about my workouts has been the strong desire to lift heavy things! I was really competitive in the weight room during high school football and I think that has stayed with me all this time. Early on I started building spreadsheets to track my workouts and systems to force progressive overload. I played with weights and reps until I found what I liked.
A workout usually looks like warming up with some body work, max effort lifting on a primary pattern, followed by accessory work that will either target a weakness or be something I’m practicing for my coaching. I’ve joined a powerlifting community that has helped me level up my Big Three (Squat, Deadlift, Bench). Thanks guys!
I’ve fallen hard for rock climbing (pun intended?) so I am also spending huge chunks of time outside somewhere awkwardly clambering up boulders.
I lost the weight eating an ultra low-carb base diet that mostly consisted of meats and veggies. I also used intermittent fasting. That said, I still can’t keep junk in my house because I have absolutely no restraint when it comes to cinnamon rolls and chocolate doughnuts.
Taylor: Well, it sounds like I wouldn’t even recognize “Old Kevin.” What have you struggled with the most on your journey?
The toughest change for me has been change itself. The dreams I have today are nothing like the dreams I had 3 years ago. I experience a lot of cognitive dissonance from day to day. On one side I am a success story, a guy who has transformed physically as well as professionally. I’ve found the success that had previously eluded me. I am building a business, and my own brand of fitness.
On the other side, I am a guy who barely made it through college with a degree I’m not using. A guy who until recently, has failed to reach many of his goals. I’ve moved away from everything I had previously worked towards, include a lifelong dream of becoming an architect. It’s the most difficult when I’m around family or friends who don’t know the new me very well.
I still get a few people who will drop in and ask me if I’ve built anything cool lately. I’ll always tell them yes, but they don’t realize I’m no longer talking about actual buildings!
It can all get very confusing. My ego doesn’t know if it should be pissed off, disappointed, or really excited about the future. I now know there really isn’t an old me or a new me. At the end of the day it’s just me, except now I’m trying to be a little better and a little truer to myself each day.
Taylor: Amen, brother! There is something profoundly difficult and imprisoning about our self-identities, especially when others feed their image of us back to us. Like you mention, people who aren’t aware of just how much you changed may talk to you as if you were a different person (an older you). Because you changed so much, in many ways you are in a very real sense, a different person now. And in another sense, it’s you – all you and only ever you.
Were there any tricks you used or a particular change that was helpful in overcoming this stuff?
Kevin: I took Steve’s advice and started to “do shit that scared me.” Not like daredevil stunts, but making moves that were scary because they were the steps I needed to take in order to move in the direction of growth.
Fear isn’t the protection mechanism that we’ve been conditioned to think it is. Its more like that game we used to play when we were kids. The one where someone goes and hides a toy in the bushes and then sends you out after it. The only information you get about your position relative to the goal is your sister giggling while saying “colder” or “hotter.”
Only your spirit knows where the goal is. Depression means “colder.” Fear means “hotter.” Fear becomes your compass. You’d be lost without it.
Taylor: Love it. We always say “do shit that scares you” – that growth happens at our limits, and that sometimes you just need 20 seconds of courage to do the things you really want to do.
So, I wanted to ask about your career change, especially now that you’re a health and fitness coach! How was making that shift? What sorts of things do you do with clients?
Kevin: I reached a point where I had so much energy towards health and fitness that doing anything other than coaching no longer made any sense!
Over the past 2 years I’ve developed a program for my athletes that focuses on healthy eating and lifestyle patterns outside of the gym. Inside the gym we develop athletic movement patterns and strength.
I am really fascinated by the concept of Mastery, so I feel like I’m currently working through my 10,000 hours of coaching. I’m always looking for ways to improve the services I am providing and ways to connect personal growth to health and fitness.
Taylor: So, I know you grew to become a Yoda to many in the Nerd Fitness Academy, and a major part of that community. What other support systems did you have?
Kevin: In the beginning I was so scared of how unhappy I was that I didn’t talk to anyone! I think I had too much pride and asking for help meant admitting failure.
However, it’s quite amazing how your support network will grow as you move in the right direction. Sometimes you will meet new friends that will more fully support your purpose. Sometimes you may be surprised when people you knew all along open up to you in new ways. Sometimes you will even be able to help them grow on their own path. It’s been exciting to see the role of NF evolve to become a part of this. I went from devouring the blog archives, to helping people on the men’s academy boards like you mentioned.
Meeting everyone at camp was a whole new level. I’m grateful to now have such cool friends from Team NF and the rest of the community. The group that gathers there each year contains some of the most earnest and supportive people I’ve ever met. I’m grateful to been a small part of it.
Kevin’s story shows us how powerful our own minds and reasoning can be – often working against us. Sometimes we have to kick down the doors in our minds before we can step into the gym, or onto the pavement.
If we’re willing to listen and see, life can give us clues – hints that the stories we tell ourselves might not be 100% accurate. In Kevin’s case, that was his changing situation at work: he rose to the challenge and took a real hard look at his I’m “focusing on work excuse.”
Remember that growth isn’t easy. It happens at our limits, and it is often uncomfortable.
Each time we bust through an excuse that is ingrained in us, we make a huge step forward. In a way, we stop lying to ourselves. We start living a life that is truer to ourselves.
Are there any excuses in your life that you don’t see as excuses, but legitimate reasons for complete inaction? Is it possible there is something you can do?
Drop by and leave some questions for Kevin, or just a high five.
-Taylor
PS: Speaking of Camp Nerd Fitness, Kevin is coming back as a volunteer! Are you gonna join us this fall? We hope to see you there!
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Q: The recipe for your slow-cooker chicken tikka masala sounds interesting, and I would like to try it, but there’s one ingredient I’m unfamiliar with: garam masala. What’s in this spice blend?
Sent by Steph
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From Apartment Therapy → A Dozen Inspiring All-White Kitchens
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With warm weather on the horizon, I’ve got my eye on this refreshing iced tea recipe. Between the calming chamomile, fragrant fresh basil, and sweet pineapple chunks, this is just the drink to help you chill out on hot days.
For now classes are 6pm and 640pm at 2840 Wildwood st in the Boise Cloggers studio.
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