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There’s something special that comes over you when you’re halfway through the perfect dinner at a friend’s house. He always manages to do this, your friend — make you feel like the evening could go on forever and you wouldn’t mind. His last dinner was like this, too. You just really enjoyed yourself, and you’re not sure how he did it. Was it the food, the lighting, the people? You didn’t feel the need to pull out your phone even once, and that never happens.

True hospitality is subtle, as I’ve written before. You don’t realize you’re getting it until after you’re already comfortable. One way to crack the secrets of a superb host? Start with the end result, the good feelings that you, the guest, experience. Here are five things a good host makes you feel, and how they (slyly) do it.

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