http://www.thekitchn.com/feedburnermain

This recipe, created with my friend — the mother of a Syrian refugee family we hosted — takes a classic Thanksgiving stuffing and adds a Syrian twist. Commonly used celery is replaced by roasted chestnuts, and golden raisins are mixed with cranberries — but the tender pillow of soft bread remains. The result is a deliciously smoky-yet-sweet stuffing any turkey would love to be next to.

<p><a href=’http://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-canadian-syrian-thanksgiving-stuffing-237721′><strong>READ MORE »</strong></a></p>

http://www.marksdailyapple.com/

In yesterday’s post, “My 7 Favorite Practices for Engineering the Good Life,” I included a curveball of sorts—right at the end. Chase down fear.

While all seven have been game changers, that one claims the pinnacle. The fact is, it’s the hardest one to embrace time and again, but it’s never ceased to move my life forward in very clear, tangible ways. Still, every time I have to talk myself through the same process.… How can I possibly take on something this substantial? What am I thinking? That one’s just too big, too complicated, too ambitious. This time, surely, you’ve overstretched, Sisson.

But in that moment I remind myself that those feelings don’t drive the bus for me. They won’t be the ones doing the work to make a vision happen (they never are). A stronger, bolder, more adept self-concept will be leading the charge. Because that’s what formidable challenges call for. If I want something big, resisting fear will keep me from it every time. If I can tell fear, “You’ve met your match,” suddenly the game looks much different.

When we take on a significant health goal, when we’re staring down what it can take to lose 100 pounds or run a half marathon or beat back an autoimmune disorder or start what will be a new life or lifestyle, it can seem like meeting the impossible. A stronger person, a better person, a more disciplined person might do this, we think.

But not a different person, I’d add. It’s simply time to tap a dimension of self that already exists, listening to the inner voice that says with all the daring of an 8-year-old on a dirt bike, it’s go time.

In the moment of gazing down a long, steep trail from those handlebars, you have a choice about how to see yourself. It’s much the same as when you face any challenge—a snarling predator or life and limb emergency, but the choice might feel more automatic then…and for good reason.

Researchers have identified something called the “self-enhancement bias,” a pattern in the human psyche that naturally moves the needle of our self valuation toward the positive. It describes a range of behaviors that sway our confidence contrary to what an empirical assessment might suggest about our present abilities or willingness.

And its evolutionary logic moves us. We feel emboldened to take a bigger risk, a greater chance than we might otherwise take if we sat in front of a pro and con list. Greater risk could mean greater danger, but it could also mean greater benefit. Audacity only had to help just enough to be adaptive, and the social (and mating) status advantage would’ve been an undeniably powerful factor in the cost-benefit analysis—not necessarily to the individual in the moment but to the overall evolutionary picture. (PDF)

Of course, the ethics of small band society and the ultimate threat of death or dismemberment likely kept this instinct in check. Bravado is different than confidence, and bravery looks decidedly different than foolhardiness. I’ll admit it’s an urge we need to use carefully and consciously.

Still, I think there’s something essential here that often gets missed. It’s easy to spend so much time focused on the negative self-talk—the social, cultural and familial layers of baggage some of us carry—that we lose sight of what’s innate in us, the power that exists untapped.

What if we could get quiet enough to let that old, gutsy instinct rise to the surface? What if we could learn to listen to its message, feel its energy? Trust that it courses through us, too? What if we could imagine that this instinct can move us beyond the limitations of what has been true for us in the past? What if we could get out of the way and let it do the work of enhancing our own self-efficacy? What if we could retrieve the emboldened self, believe it, and put it in the driver’s seat toward our goals?

I’m not saying that substantial change doesn’t depend on the regular practice of sensical tactics, scientifically rooted strategy. We want a new life, we have to live new details. But as I mentioned above, we may also need to live out of a new belief and a lot more nerve.

Can we harness that peripheral primal tendency? If we feel too distanced from it by the sediment of experience, can we reconnect with it—to see ourselves in a bigger way, a broader story? It may just be that reclaiming this drive will be what cracks the parameters that have unnecessarily defined us and what we feel is possible.

Thanks for reading, everybody. Have a good end to the week.

The post 7 Ways to Harness the Self-Enhancement Bias (and Claim a Bigger Life) appeared first on Mark’s Daily Apple.

http://www.thekitchn.com/feedburnermain

Every November, sometime after my husband’s birthday on the 13th, the same scenario plays out. As we start contemplating our Thanksgiving plans, my husband gets a look on his face and our conversation takes a Seinfeldian turn (remember the Festivus episode?).

Michael says something like, “It has to be turkey, right?” I nod, knowing what comes next. “I mean if turkey is so great, why do we only eat it once year? How about we have fish and chips? Or chicken tikka masala?”

That is when I remember what I conveniently forget about 11 months of the year: I married a Thanksgiving hater.

<p><a href=’http://www.thekitchn.com/i-love-thanksgiving-but-my-husband-hates-it-the-story-of-a-holiday-divided-237458′><strong>READ MORE »</strong></a></p>

http://www.thekitchn.com/feedburnermain

If there was ever a surefire way to win Friendsgiving (or make your Thanksgiving leftovers feel more exciting), threading your Thanksgiving dinner onto a stick is the way to do it. It’s quirky, it’s fun, and it’s a total crowd-pleaser.

<p><a href=’http://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-thanksgiving-on-a-stick-237278′><strong>READ MORE »</strong></a></p>

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From Apartment Therapy → 8 Grocery Hacks to Make Going Organic Easier on Your Wallet

<p><a href=’http://www.thekitchn.com/8-grocery-hacks-to-make-buying-organic-more-budget-friendly-238461′><strong>READ MORE »</strong></a></p>

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Chances are, you’re planning a Target run in the next few days anyway, right? We knew it. While you’re there, pick up everything you need to set your Thanksgiving table.

Here’s one look we pulled together for you.

<p><a href=’http://www.thekitchn.com/set-your-thanksgiving-table-with-target-237446′><strong>READ MORE »</strong></a></p>

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Ever sit down to a beautifully prepared meal, with wonderfully enticing dishes from end to end of the table, when suddenly a hodgepodge of mismatched serving spoons clang onto the scene?

This holiday season, put a little thought into your serving spoons. Here are 10 stylish ones worth scooping up.

<p><a href=’http://www.thekitchn.com/dole-out-thanksgiving-dinner-with-these-pretty-serving-spoons-237648′><strong>READ MORE »</strong></a></p>

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From Apartment Therapy → Look We Love: Dark and Moody Fall Florals

<p><a href=’http://www.thekitchn.com/embrace-dark-moody-florals-for-fall-238459′><strong>READ MORE »</strong></a></p>

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A side of roasted Brussels sprouts is one of the vegetables I look forward to the most in the cold-weather months — and its versatility is nearly endless. Sure, a simple sprinkle of salt and pepper does the job well, but there are a handful of ingredients that really pair so well with Brussels sprouts that it’s fun to play around a bit. Here are 10 we love to inspire you.

<p><a href=’http://www.thekitchn.com/10-ingredients-to-pair-with-roasted-brussels-sprouts-237645′><strong>READ MORE »</strong></a></p>

Originally posted at: http://www.nerdfitness.com/

Two weeks ago, I almost puked and it inspired this article.

My friend Noah was in town, and he invited me to join him in a special workout with some other internet dorks (that’s what I call affectionately those of us who make our living online). Noah lives in Austin, and I haven’t seen in him in a while, so although the idea of going out in public (yikes) and working out in a group setting (nope) are things I try to avoid, I figured I’d be a good sport.

Upon arriving at the gym, I walked into a room with 25 other people and an instructor who looked like he had been picked from a “good looking super jacked trainer” casting call.

What transpired was a 25-minute bootcamp style workout where we all did various things like burpees, box jumps, squats, dips, etc. There was no break, and we moved from one exercise to the next as thumping hip hop played, the training yelling louder and louder to encourage us to push ourselves.

I HATED EVERY SECOND OF IT.

I think I would rather get a root canal than go through that style of workout again. Or watch an episode of the Real Housewives of Rivendell.

Let’s be clear: I’m not saying this just wasn’t my cup of tea…This wasn’t mild-displeasure, but pure misery.

As I finished my gazillionth burpee, wheezing and out of breath, I looked at my friend Roman and we both kind of chuckled: “This is not my thing,” Roman said to me. Okay, actually what he said was more profanity-laced, but I like to keep things relatively clean around here.

When the workout was over, I glanced at some of the other people around the room, also drenched in sweat, but with smiles on their faces:“That was great!” and “I loved it, thanks man!” phrases were shouted.

Although I knew I probably wouldn’t enjoy this type of workout, after realizing just how much I hated it – I knew I needed to write about it.

“Just how many people hate these workout and think they hate working out?” I wondered as I pushed myself to the point of puking.

Today, I’m going to give you permission that you didn’t realize you needed.

Don’t like “exercise” ? It’s probably the type

I have been training in gyms, parks, and playgrounds for 15 years.

I own and operate a health and fitness website and thoroughly enjoy exercise. It’s one of my favorite things to do, and if I miss a workout, it feels like something in my life is missing. And yet, I found myself cursing the exercise gods during that workout – wishing I was doing anything else.

You see, I like exercise to be an enjoyable and solitary experience. Pushing myself to the point of almost puking is not fun for me. Training in a group setting is also not generally enjoyable for me, as I prefer my workouts to be contemplative and meditative: Headphones in, playlist on, eyes down, mouth closed, and doing my routine designed with specific goals in mind.

Because of this, other than going for extended walks around New York City, hiking when I can, or doing ring routines that last for a few minutes, I don’t “do cardio.”

So a bootcamp/crossfit style workout is not one I particularly enjoy.

People look at me like I’m crazy when I tell them I don’t “go for a run” ever. It’s like there’s this law that says “in shape = formal cardio,” which I disagree with strongly.

I couldn’t help but think about somebody that might be in their mid 30s, who has been sitting hunched over a desk for the past decade, potentially also severely overweight, and ends up in a boot camp as their first fitness experience.

I think some people will love it. And maybe they’ll build up to CrossFit or SoulCycle or some other similar type of workout atmosphere. And that’s AMAZING. They love that feeling of pushing themselves harder than they thought possible, they get to work out alongside others, and it gives them a hell of a workout. They end these classes really beat up and fired up.

That’s what some people will do.

I think many other people won’t particularly enjoy this workout style – especially if they’re rookies to fitness or very overweight.

Sure, they might find a way to push through their workout enough times that they learn to “love to hate” them, and they’ll make this a thing they do regularly.

HOWEVER, I imagine the far majority of out-of-shape/new people fit into this category: Hate the workout, assume this “fitness” is the only kind of fitness, and get discouraged and embarrassed. “Screw this, I’m going back to my couch.”

Like Billy Madison getting teased when he HAD to write in cursive, he got discouraged and never wanted to come back to school:

There’s nothing wrong with bootcamps and CrossFit. I would LOVE it if I liked that stuff. But It never worked for me. If that’s your thing, keep killin’ it! These are amazing ways to get in shape for the right type of person. (Here are my official thoughts on CrossFit, btw.)

But for those of you who don’t find these workout styles fun, motivating, and easy to get yourself to do, I want to make something abundantly clear: If you strongly despise a certain style of working out and don’t want to do it, it doesn’t make you a bad person, or lazy, or a quitter.

It might just mean that you don’t like this kind of training! So don’t do it. Ever again. Never ever.

You don’t have to prove anything to anybody but yourself

When I ran cross country my freshman year of high school, I hated every day of practice.

But I had friends on the team, and I told myself I was a quitter if I stopped. I made it through the fall season…barely. As I trained for the upcoming season during the next summer, I refused to let myself get ‘beat’ by stopping running even though I hated it.

Finally, after a month of increasing misery went by, I accepted my training preferences and decided that putting myself through another four months of torture to prove a point to nobody that I could do something I hated was the dumbest idea I’ve ever had.

Well, second dumbest. I once thought it was a good idea to cast a fishing rod a few weeks after breaking my collarbone. That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.

So, when I stopped running, I decided to try something else: I got a gym membership.

And that gym membership changed my life and started me down a path that led me to Nerd Fitness.

Find your fitness

Today, I’m giving you permission to make some changes:

• If you don’t like “exercise,” it doesn’t make you a bad person.
• If you don’t like to run, it doesn’t mean you are a quitter or doomed to stay overweight.
• If you have gone to a bootcamp and it kicked your ass and you hated it, it doesn’t mean you’re weak.  
• If you have gone to a gym and you hated lifting weights, you never have to pick up another weight again in your life.

Instead, I want you to find the type of fitness that brings you to life. If you haven’t done that yet, you haven’t looked enough places. So look more places.

Have you tried parkour?

How about rock climbing?

Swing dancing?

Yoga?

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu?  

Geocaching?

LARPing?

Kung-fu?

Powerlifitng?

Running?

These are all awesome forms of exercise and will get you to a pretty solid baseline of health.

After all, how you eat will determine 80-90% of your physique.

If you are trying to look a certain way or build certain skills, then YES you will need to train and eat a certain way. And next week we’ll show you exactly how to customize your training to your goals.   

For the rest of us muggles just trying to lose some weight, get in better shape, or look a little better, eating healthy and doing a fun form of fitness a few times a week along with some walks will actually get you most of the way there.

Don’t worry about getting your heart rate into the “fat burning zone” which is nonsense.

Don’t worry about “metabolic conditioning” or “WODs” or mile splits.

Don’t feel bad if doing squats and deadlifts aren’t your thing and you’d rather be outside in nature. Or that using an elliptical makes you want to cry out of boredom.  

Instead, do the thing that actually brings you joy and gets you moving. THAT is what “exercise” is: For me, it’s gymnastic rings and power lifting.

The rest of Team Nerd Fitness is quite varied:

• For Staci, it’s powerlifting and yoga.
• For Jim, it’s olympic lifting and gymnastics.
• For Baker, it’s Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
• For Alek, it’s ultimate Frisbee and CrossFit.
• For Margaret it’s rowing.
• For Darryl it’s martial arts.
• For Taylor, it’s lifting and bodyweight training.
• For Noel, it’s the NF Academy workouts.

Despite that list being quite “all over the place,” it’s all tied together by one principle: We exercise in a certain way because we enjoy it. This is why you can create a free character on Nerd Fitness with a focus in whatever reaches out to you.

We also all know that some basic strength training, even if it’s not our main focal point, makes us safer and better at the other activities we choose to do, so we all mix in a bit of that with our routines too.

It’s why principle #1 of NF is to train in a way that you enjoy! This will allow you to stay excited and motivated about moving – if you force yourself to do things you hate all the time, you’ll give up the second you reach an obstacle.

This is built into every element of Nerd Fitness, and we can help you find the path towards the life you want to live. It starts with a foundation of fun and the right attitude towards strength.

Stop today. Start today.

I want you to have an honest conversation with yourself right now:

1. If you are brand new to fitness, remove any preconceived notions you have about how you’re supposed to train. There’s no perfect way to train, but I’ll tell you there IS a wrong way – forcing yourself to do something you despise because you think you have to.
2. If you’re already on your fitness journey, is there something you force yourself to do because you’ve always done it or because you think you have to keep doing it? If you’re doing it to reach a specific goal, good for you! But if not (and it just so happens to be what you think exercise is), can you STOP that thing?

I want to hear from you:

What’s one thing, with regard to fitness, that you have been forcing yourself to do, or what’s the mental image you have of fitness that has kept you from starting?

And what’s one NEW thing you’re going to try, or what’s an enjoyable form of exercise you’re going to do more of?  

If you are lost and don’t have any money or time to try new things, do this instead. Load up an audiobook or your favorite podcast, put on a pair of shoes, and go for a walk.

We all have to start somewhere, so we might as well enjoy it from the first day too! This will help you actually build the habit of doing the activity rather than doing something because you think you HAVE to.

Once you’re ready to set some elite performance or physique goals, we can talk about sacrifice and doing things for reasons other than pure enjoyment…but until then, have fun.

We’ll be covering specific performance and physique goals next week. Get ready!

-Steve

PS: Are you a fan of ours on Facebook? Staci is going to be doing our first ever Facebook Live tonight at 8pm CT. She’ll be talking about how to find the right gym for you!

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photo: PROReiterlied: lego, Steven Depolo: start