“It’s your last time really alone (until baby moves out of the house) so enjoy these moments with your wife. Your days are about to get a lot busier and noisier. You won’t have time to yourself in the same way. Your priorities are about to shift to a new human so get as much of the “you time” banked now as you can. So watch all the movies, and read all the books on your list, take baths together, go for hikes, do a road trip, and anything else you alone love and that the two of you enjoy together. Build on the strength of your marriage. Create a haven for the 2 of you at home, go on dates when the baby is old enough for a sitter, etc.
I’m 53 and my youngest is 23 and all of our 4 kids live far away at the moment. My regrets are the moments I might have missed when the kids were around and I was busy or working or whatever. Try to really be there as much as you emotionally can for the magic of kids that happens in the mundane moments.”
-Well said, Julian. Really, the whole comment section is a treasure trove of parenting advice.
This whole year has felt like a continuous cycle of repetitiveness. Wake up, brush teeth, put on a clean-ish shirt, and begin the day. It’s become so monotonous that most of the time, you don’t really need to think about what you’re doing, you just do it. You’re on total autopilot. And before you know it, you’re scarfing down a low-fat muffin or skipping your workout entirely because your next Zoom call is about to start — even though you had loose aspirations of having this be the week you got up early to exercise or set aside time for a solid protein-packed breakfast before work.
When you’re stuck on autopilot, you’re not consciously aware of your choices. As adults, we make an average of 35,000 decisions each day. And research shows that 96% of people admit to making most of them with zero thought. 1 I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard my clients say that they had no clue how they managed to polish off a whole bottle of wine in one sitting or they ate an entire bag of chips while binge-watching TV. And don’t get me started on how often I hear how tough it is to stop smashing the snooze button.
Why You Feel Stuck
I’ll admit it, change is hard. But it’s even harder when you’re running the show on cruise control. As I’ve mentioned before, the brain is always trying to protect you — it wants to keep you safe and comfortable. In this case, it develops an unconscious decision-making system to take care of routine tasks. Which is great, unless you want to change up your routine.
Operating on autopilot looks like:
Pressing snooze without knowing it
Eating leftovers off your kids’ plates
Buying the same foods at the store
Realizing you “forgot” to exercise
Checking your phone while waiting in line
Blame Your Comfort Zone
Once you know the simplest way of doing something (that could be feeding yourself, coping with stress, or ignoring your expanding waistline) your brain’s learning centers go into repetition mode and essentially shut down.2 Your mind strives to take the path of least resistance to conserve resources. It also craves routine. Because, generally speaking, not knowing what’s going to happen next is stressful.
When you don’t have to think about how to do your to-dos, it’s a much easier request of your body and brain. You do the same thing over and over again, staying neatly tucked inside your comfort zone and you don’t have to put in extra effort or feel the effects of added stress or uncertainty.
That’s why, if you’ve been continually beating yourself up about why you can’t seem to lose the weight or get in shape, your comfort zone could be to blame. There’s too much uncertainty! And really, I’d argue that 2020 has given us more than our fair share of that feeling already.
But uncertainty does have its benefits.
According to research from Yale, it signals the brain to kickstart new learning capabilities. In this study, monkeys were taught to press various targets – each with their own reward system.3 They were given a choice between hitting a red target that provided rewards 80% of the time and a green one that rewarded them 20% of the time.
Once they caught on that the red target was more profitable, and continued to press it, the researchers increased the uncertainty by making the green target more profitable instead. They noticed that the monkeys’ brain activity was dramatically reduced when they had certainty (i.e. they knew which button to press). When uncertainty became a factor, their learning centers lit up.
This just proves that, while stability is comfortable, it diminishes your ability to learn and grow. Again, that’s fine if you’re making your morning cup of coffee, letting the dog out, or driving to the store. It’s another thing entirely if you’re trying to move the needle on your health.
How to Get Out of Autopilot Mode
Making progress on your goals starts by moving beyond your current comfort zone. Because when you do what you’ve always done, you get what you’ve always had. Here are 6 strategies I use with my own clients to help them get more comfortable with a little uncertainty.
Change your Routine, Slightly
I’m not saying you need to get up 3 hours earlier or overhaul your processed food diet overnight, but by making a small change to your day, you’re activating your frontal cortex, which starts to move your behaviours from subconscious to conscious. So, take an alternate route to get groceries, style your hair in a different way, choose the coffee cup you never use, or end your hot shower with a blast of cold water.
Ditch the Expectations
While having clear expectations works for some people, it can be intimidating to others. That’s why I love using the “I just want to see…” method with my clients. Instead of focusing on the outcome, try this on for size: “I just want to see if I can lose 30 pounds.” Or “I just want to see if I can get up at 5am every day to meditate.” Or, “I just want to see if I can sit down to eat instead of feeding myself straight from the fridge.” When you free yourself from expectations, you allow yourself to be curious enough to discover what’s possible.
Reflect on Your Wins
Use familiarity and comfort to your advantage here by revisiting some of your big accomplishments. What have you done previously that required courage or learning something new? Often, people diminish their wins (or forget about them altogether). But realizing what you’ve bravely done in the past can build your confidence and help set the stage for future accomplishments.
Find a Role Model
When you look at your circle of friends, personally or professionally, is there someone who regularly pushes themselves? Someone who never settles for average and continually does things that leave you wishing you could do stuff like that too? Think of that person as a role model, tapping into the nuances of how they act, what they do, and how they refer to themselves. Before you know it, their influence will start to have an effect on your behaviour.
Sign Up for a Class
I know we’re all strapped for time right now but consider signing up for a class or online course. Heck, it could even be a free 45-minute webinar. The point is, commit to an activity that’s going to make your brain work. By doing this, you’re activating your frontal cortex, which temporarily shuts down your autopilot mode and primes you for making a change that could benefit your health and your happiness.
Call BS on Your Excuses
When you tell yourself, “I don’t have time to work out today” or “I’ll start eating healthy on Monday,” start to become mindful of what’s the truth and what’s an excuse. Practice some self-compassion and understanding, and you might find that deep down you’re afraid to exercise because you don’t want to look silly or you’re not sure what eating healthy even means! Use this time to increase your awareness of the messages you’re sending yourself and what emotion is at the heart of it.
6 Tips for Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone
There’s no doubt this year has sent us running for comfort and familiarity. But being stuck in cruise control — especially when you don’t even know you’re there – won’t get you any closer to your goals. Use these strategies to start moving out of your comfort zone and see what happens.
Change your routine, slightly
Ditch the expectations
Reflect on your wins
Find a role model
Sign up for a class
Call BS on your excuses
Now tell me what you think! Has your comfort zone been standing in your way?
I wasn’t kidding earlier when I said meditation is practically a superpower.
Think of this superpower like the power of X-men’s Mystique, but for your mind.
Instead of the ability to alter your appearance to meet the challenges of any given situation, meditation allows you to alter your mind to conquer the day.
Why does this matter?
Because sometimes our minds can seem like they have a mind of their own:
When we are on our commute and someone is a jerk, we get angry. We don’t seem to have a choice in the matter – we just GET ANGRY.
When a friend says something stupid, we roll our eyes.
When they say something witty and intelligent, we laugh.
There is no deliberation, no Council of Elrond to decide how you should feel and respond.
That’s just how our brains work.
Daniel Kahneman, in the famed Thinking Fast and Slow, proposed we think about thinking in two ways.
System 1: Fast Thinking – automatic, frequent, emotional, subconscious.
System 2: Slow thinking – deliberative, effortful, infrequent, logical, conscious.
System 1 is responsible for most of what you do every day. This fast thinking does so much on your behalf, that you may not even realize it.
System 2 doesn’t kick in until you are tasked with something like solving a riddle, filling out a tax form, or walking at a pace that is unnaturally fast.
Another social psychologist, Jonathan Haidt, describes these systems with a different metaphor: a rider on an elephant.
In The Happiness Hypothesis, he explains he selected this metaphor to demonstrate the power of the elephant (fast thinking), and the powerlessness of the rider (slow thinking). While the rider might feel in control, at the top of the elephant with reigns in hand, it is truly the elephant that is running things.
What Exactly Is Meditation?
Meditation is simply the practice of learning how to pay attention.
It’s not something magic.
It’s not a cult or a religion.
Meditation is just a mental exercise to strengthen your mind.
This mental exercise is increasingly necessary in the modern world.
It turns out, at any given time almost half of us are lost in thought unrelated to what’s in front of us. And when we are mentally wandering, we are significantly less happy.[1]
As Matthieu Ricard explains in his TED Talk – when neuroscientists looked at his brain while meditating, he scored “off the scale” in brain activity related to happiness, compassion, and altruism.
At the end of the day, isn’t happiness what we’re all chasing?
That’s why we spend so much time with “mindset” in our 1-on-1 Online Coaching Program. Sure, we help people lose weight and get strong, but we also assign fun “side quests” to help with mindfulness, gratitude, and general well being.
How Do You Meditate? How Long Should Beginners Meditate?
To start, pick a time in your day you can regularly designate as your time to meditate.
It should be a time you can find a quiet place, without distraction or interruption.
As a beginner, you don’t need to meditate for long. Just five minutes a day is a great place to start.
Too much? Try TWO minutes.
The important part is building the daily habit.We can bump up the frequency down the road.
The meditation practice I’m going to describe for you below is a basic mindfulness practice. There are many different styles of meditation, but every type of meditation is about cultivating attention and awareness, or learning to be in the present moment without grasping. [2]
Be sure to set a timer before you begin.Time tends to slow down when in deep meditation, so when you’re just starting it may feel like 10 minutes…but it’s only been 5.
The timer will help here at first.
AS A BEGINNER, HERE’S HOW TO MEDITATE:
Find a place to sit that allows your back to be in an upright position. You don’t need to sit cross-legged, but you can if you wish. A chair or sitting against a wall also works well. Feel free to use a cushion under your bottom to help your posture and make yourself more comfortable. The goal is a posture that helps you stay alert, but is still comfortable. You can meditate with your eyes open or closed.
As you begin, take several deep, slow breaths to gather concentration. Inhale deeply, filling your lungs to the brim. Then slowly exhale. Follow your breath carefully with your attention through this process.
After a few breaths, or when you feel your concentration has settled, begin to breathe naturally. Notice the breath at a specific point, most commonly with the rising and falling of the chest, at your nostrils, or at your abdomen. Don’t force it. Don’t glue your attention there. Simply allow your breath to come and go naturally, following it as it naturally unfolds.
When you get lost in thought, simply return your attention back to the breath. Bringing your attention back to the breath is a central part of the process – think about it like performing an exercise repetition. Each time you do this you are rewiring your brain – no different from doing a repetition in strength training. So, don’t feel guilty or beat yourself up. You can’t control when you get distracted. But then magically, each time you realize you are distracted and you “wake up” – at this point, just return to the breath!
This is where we recommend most beginners start – a broad and basic breath concentration practice. Think about this no differently than starting with just the bar before adding weight, when learning to squat.
Three meditation apps that some at Team Nerd Fitness have had success with:
These programs can help you get going with a simple mindfulness practice.
Here’s something else to consider as you get started:
Beginners often find it difficult to stay aware when thoughts arise, and find themselves noticing they have been thinking only after being lost in thoughts for several minutes.
This is normal!
When you notice this happening, just return to focusing on your breath.
One last thing to consider would be guided meditations, where someone’s voice guides and directs you through a mindfulness practice.
Guided meditation is great to incorporate into anyone’s meditation practice (beginner, intermediate, or advanced), and certainly when the mind is especially restless.
Here are 5 resources that may help with guided meditation:
Doctor Who fans might enjoy Dalek’s Relaxation for Humans, although I can’t comment on its effectiveness:
What Are the Benefits of Meditation?
The superpower meditation builds is the ability to be at the character selection screen, for any given situation, at any given time.
You see, because of how our brains work, it can be hard to exert a level of control in our lives – from our response to a social interaction, to changing fundamental aspects of our life.
When something happens, we just react.
That’s System 1.
There’s no conscious deliberative process when a cute girl/guy walks up to you, or some car cuts you off in traffic. It’s no surprise that we often feel frustrated with our reactions after-the-fact.
Imagine the ability to replay the events, and always act with a calm and collected demeanor, delivering the best response you have to offer. That’s what meditation can help do for you.
I’m not talking managing an emotion, or suppressing a thought.
This is not “serenity now, insanity later.”
This isn’t about dealing with things AFTER you get angry or sad, but the power to actually change both how you feel and how you respond.
That is true power.
Neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor uses anger as an example in her wonderful TED Talk:
In her speech, Dr. Taylor explains that the physiological response from anger can only last 90 seconds.
Yet, as humans, we can stay angry seemingly FOREVER.
Why?
We are doing it to ourselves, by rethinking the thought and redoing the physiological response over and over. If you’ve ever gotten angry and let it fester, feeling angrier and angrier after, you know what she’s talking about.
As Dr.Taylor explains, we all have a superpower within us, but most of us surrender it.
Or as she puts us, we surrender our neurocircuitry:
“We are neurocircuitry. Your neurocircuitry is YOUR neurocircuitry, and you do not have the ability to stimulate and trigger my neurocircuitry without my permission. You cannot make me angry, unless I stick my trigger out there for you to pounce on and stimulate my neurocircuitry. If I give you the power to stimulate my neurocircuitry, then I have given you my power. And I give you my power, then I become vulnerable to you…”
Through meditation, you can learn to focus your attention where you choose. As you begin the practice, you will start to notice your thoughts and feelings more consciously, and let go of the ones that aren’t useful to you. You will start to reforge the character of your choosing.
This might have real physiological benefits.
While there is obviously some hype going on with mindfulness (it’s over a billion-dollar industry in the U.S. alone), there does some to be some evidence of meditation providing “modest benefits” for certain conditions.[3]
Dan Harris does a great job summarizing some of the benefits of meditation here:
Meditation may help:
Reduce stress. Studies have shown that a meditation practice can help users lower their stress levels. Although to be fair, it doesn’t seem to impact cortisol levels, our main stress hormone.[4] Still, being able to recenter can help you look at a stressful scenario with fresh eyes.
Alleviate depression.When we’re stressed, we release inflammatory chemicals called cytokines, which can lead to depression. A meditation practice may help limit the release of cytokines, reducing the risk of depression.[5]
Manage pain.Our perceptions of pain are tied to our state of mind.[6] Given this, it makes sense that a meditation practice can help alleviate certain types of pain.[7]
Plus, Wolverine meditates, so mindfulness may help you come to terms with the fact you were designed to be a mindless, soulless killing machine.[8]
Or…help you calm down after your flight is delayed for an hour. Same difference.
How Often Should You Meditate?
Now that you know how to meditate, you need to understand one final thing.
You have to train this power like a muscle.
Even if you have a good day or a good week in the gym, you need to be at it for months and months, and then STAY at it, to live with the benefits for a lifetime.
We’re doing the same thing with our meditation practice.
No different from squatting incrementally more weight, you are training your brain to get stronger.
Just like squatting, you won’t see profound benefits after a single session. Instead, you will level up after weeks and months of consistency.
The same way squatting regularly builds muscle, meditation literally builds gray matter in your brain.[9] Soon enough, that “automatic mode” or elephant we talked about will begin to change too (literally rewiring your brain).[10]
Much like groceries will slowly begin to feel lighter after strength training, so to will you gradually notice the benefits of meditation.
So how often should a beginner meditate?
Daily if possible.
It might feel intimidating now to think about, but just like with diet and exercise, once the habit is established, you won’t even notice:
Once you become someone who meditates for five minutes a day, that’s just what you do.
Getting Started With a Meditation Practice (Next Steps)
We all know the story of Luke Skywalker, not because he had this power within him and chose to walk away from it, but because he seized the opportunity to understand the Force.
Don’t be the Jedi who is walking away from your potential.
As a kid, I always thought that comic books had it backwards – the superpower found the superhero (I’m looking at you Spiderman), rather than the other way around.
What if we all had the potential to develop our power, and only the true superheroes do? Now that would be awesome.
That’s what meditation allows us to do.
Not only does meditation boost your health in a range of tangible ways, but more importantly, it helps us to enjoy the here and now. You might call this loving the game, or enjoying the process.
That’s why today we’re issuing a meditation challenge:
Commit to meditating every day, for two weeks straight (using an app, website, or guided meditation if you wish).
It can just be for five minutes. Or two minutes.
The important part is establishing a new habit.
Then maybe we can all start bending spoons together:
I think that just about does it for this article.
Before I let you go, if you want to continue your journey with Nerd Fitness as you level up your life, I’ve got three great options for you to do so.
HERE ARE NEXT STEPS IF YOU WANT TO GO FARTHER!
#1) Our 1-on-1 Online Coaching Program: a coaching program for busy people to help them lose weight, get strong, and level up their lives!
We believe that mindfulness is so important, we assign fun meditation “side quests” to our clients, to help build the practice.
#2) Exercising at home and need a plan to follow? Check out Nerd Fitness Journey!
Our fun habit-building app helps you exercise more frequently, eat healthier, and level up your life (literally).
Try your free trial right here:
#3) Join our amazing free community, the Nerd Fitness Rebellion! Not only is it free to join, but we’ll provide you with loads of free goodies when you sign-up:
Get your Nerd Fitness Starter Kit
The 15 mistakes you don’t want to make.
Full guide to the most effective diet and why it works.
Complete and track your first workout today, no gym required.
Stress is physical. It’s caused by physical phenomena in the material world. It manifests as a physiological response using physical hormones and neurotransmitters and other chemical messengers in the body. It changes biomarkers, neurochemistry, behavior, appetites, and our perception of the world around us. Stress can make us fly off the handle at something that we wouldn’t even notice in a normal state of mind. Stress can make us eat food we’d never normally consider eating.
And, like other physical phenomena our bodies interact with, stress can affect our gut health.
The first hint of this relationship lies in that split second sensation most people feel in high-intensity situations. You feel it right there in your gut. It’s a cue from the environment that things are going to get hairy for a little while, and you should prepare yourself. The gut is so central to everything, it’s our first real interface with the outside world. The gut is where food goes. It’s where outside nutrients or pathogens or interlopers try to gain entry to our inner world. The “gut feeling” is a Primal one that we cannot ignore.
So what happens to our guts when we endure too much stress without relief?
Stress and leaky gut.
They used to say “leaky gut” was a myth. It’s not. In clinical trials, they call it “intestinal permeability,” but it describes the same phenomenon: instead of the tight junctions that line our gut closely regulating the passage of toxins, allergenic particles, and nutrients into the body, the gates are thrown open to allow anything entry into circulation. This can increase or trigger autoimmune disease, allergic reactions to foods, and infiltration of toxins and pathogens. The end result is increased inflammation and oxidative stress, and there are a whole host of diseases and conditions linked to leaky gut.
Stress is a major and reliable trigger for leaky gut.1
Stress and gut bacteria.
Studies have shown that stress reduces the number of Lactobacillus species in the gut and tends to increase the growth of and colonization by pathogenic species—changes that correlate to many of the negative stress-related alterations to gut health and function.2 Many of these changes to the gut bacteria makeup stem from the increased cortisol and other stress hormones, which have been shown to have profound effects on the species living in our guts.
Stress and gut motility.
Stress tends to slow gastric emptying while speeding up intestinal transit times. This means you’re not digesting your food very well or quickly, but once it’s in your intestines it moves fast. That can make toilet visits rather too urgent and productive, while the actual eating—the assimilation of nutrients, the digestion, the extraction of the good stuff—becomes less productive.3
Stress and irritable bowel syndrome.
I had IBS for many years, and it coincided not just with all the grains I was eating but also the high levels of stress (training and professional/social) I was enduring. In fact, I always noticed that periods of high stress or heavy training were triggers for flareups. That was supposedly all in my imagination, but the actual evidence shows that I was right.
If you look at the common symptoms of IBS—how it presents in a human gut—it’s a laundry list of stress-related gut alterations. You’ve got leaky gut. You’ve got imbalanced gut bacteria. You’ve got supernatural gut motility (when you gotta go, you gotta go).4 It’s all there.
Stress and disordered eating.
There’s nothing worse for gut health than eating junk food, especially if you’re coming from an otherwise healthy Primal way of eating.
But that’s what stress does to many people: increases their susceptibility to the temptations of processed food. When you’re sitting in traffic for four hours a day, that Burger King drive thru starts looking real good. When you’re working 12 hours days, the last thing many of you want to do is go home and spend an hour preparing a healthy dinner. I get it, I understand it, but the fact remains that eating that way is terrible for gut health and function (and you know it, don’t you?).
Worse still, if you’re under a lot of stress, eating that junk food is less likely to satisfy you. Your food reward system in the brain grows duller, requiring greater quantities of even tastier junk food to satisfy its demands and “trigger” the food reward effect.5
What, besides “reduce stress,” can you do to improve or maintain your gut health in times of stress?
Eat well and don’t neglect prebiotic fiber.
People go back and forth on fiber. Is it essential? Is it useless? Is it actually harmful, as the carnivores claim? I’ve been in this game for many years, and while I don’t think there’s any one answer that will satisfy everyone, I do have an answer relevant for today’s topic.
At the very least, prebiotic fiber is conditionally useful—and one of the conditions that render prebiotics helpful is chronic stress. Prebiotic fiber feeds your good gut bacteria (and sometimes bad, if you’ve got bad living there, but that’s another story for another time) who in turn produce short chain fatty acids like butyrate that have been shown to counter some of the stress-induced effects on gut health and function. In one study, researchers found that increasing prebiotic fiber in a mouse’s diet improved their resilience to stress and improved stress-induced leaky gut, suggesting that the two are linked.6
Don’t let stress snowball.
Acute stress is a healthy part of the human experience. It’s why we have a stress response in the first place: to help us respond to difficult, stressful situations that we encounter in the world. It’s not “unhealthy.” And sure, while an acute stress response will transiently upregulate intestinal permeability and trigger changes to gut motility, those changes dissipate when the stress resolves. Exercise itself is a stressor; a hard workout will increase intestinal permeability for a short while, but it resolves soon after.
The problem is when we let stress snowball into a chronic condition. We allow it to build up and accumulate and take up permanent residence in our bodies. Then it doesn’t resolve, and that’s when we start seeing the other effects on gut health and function.
Improve your sleep hygiene (and maybe take melatonin).
Melatonin isn’t just a “sleep hormone.” It also acts as an antioxidant, affects a whole range of health measures, and, yes, protects your gut against stress-induced alterations.7 The best way to optimize melatonin status is to follow all the prescriptions described in my sleep hygiene post: getting morning and afternoon natural light, spending as much time outside as you can, reducing artificial light after dark, getting a bedtime routine, eating healthy food, and sticking to your bedtime sleep schedule. But that can be tough, as often the source of your stress will also be throwing your sleep schedule off. Supplemental melatonin can help here.
Supplement for stress.
I’m a ball of stress. Or rather, I was a ball of stress for much of my life. That’s probably why so many of my diet and lifestyle recommendations are geared toward high-stress individuals—I was trying to fix my own issues and quickly realized that I wasn’t alone, that many others could benefit from the same stuff. My issue was my stress was multifold. I was subjecting my body to incredible amounts of physical training stress that never seemed to end. I was balancing that with perpetual entrepreneurialism. I never sat still, always had something I should be doing. There was never a moment to take a breath. As soon as things let up, I was preparing for the next challenge, the next workout, the next test.
That hasn’t stopped—though it has slowed down, and I’ve gotten better at dealing with the stress. Many of my stress solutions have nothing to do with supplementation. Instead, they’re related to the food I eat, the exercise I do (or, more accurately, don’t do anymore), the overt stress reduction techniques I practice. But there is room for a supplement called Adaptogenic Calm, which I created to help elite athletes (like my former self and those I worked with) handle the oxidative stress load of training. Stress often is fungible, and psychological stress and training-related stress operate along similar pathways and thus have similar solutions.
Take probiotics for stress.
Remember how stress lays waste to the Lactobacillus species normally residing in our guts? Animal studies show that reintroducing some of them through probiotic supplementation can mitigate and even counter some of the stress-induced alterations to gut function, such as leaky gut and hampered motility.8
Now I’d love to hear from you. How does stress affect your gut function? What have you noticed? And how do you deal with stress, especially as it relates to your gut?
When you were a kid, adults probably drilled into you that you should “be nice,” share your toys, and put yourself in other people’s shoes. Those are necessary lessons, of course. Humans are prosocial creatures. Our ancestors needed the protection of the clan, so they had to get along and be team players. Individuals who caused strife within the group risked being kicked out, which could be a death sentence.
It pays to be considerate of others, but that message often gets twisted into “don’t rock the boat” and even “other people’s needs are more important than your own.” When getting along is your top priority, you become loathe to assert your own needs. However, in the long term, being too self-sacrificing is detrimental to your relationships and your own mental wellbeing. It’s a slippery slope into allowing other people to make unreasonable demands on your time or say or do things that hurt you (often unintentionally).
Moreover, not being honest about your needs is unfair. Other people never get the chance to reciprocate the consideration you’re offering, and all the while you are stewing in hurt or resentment because you aren’t getting what you want.
Boundaries protect your time and your physical and emotional space. They help ensure that your needs are met. Boundaries can look like:
Turning down social invitations.
Saying no to requests from your boss or coworkers that you can’t reasonably fulfill or that are outside your scope.
Staying true to your values (e.g., shutting down a conversation that has turned sexist or racist).
Protecting your personal space from other people who are sapping your time, energy, or happiness.
Enforcing much-needed personal time.
Did you get squeamish just reading that? The truth is, setting boundaries can incredibly uncomfortable, even downright scary. Keeping the peace is the path of least resistance, but it’s not always the right choice. Learning to set healthy boundaries is one of those necessary-but-difficult adulting skills that we all need to practice.
What Does It Mean to Set Healthy Boundaries?
Boundaries communicate how we want others to treat us.
The word makes it sound like they are walls we erect to keep other people at arm’s length, but the intention is actually to foster better relationships. Sometimes it does mean creating distance from someone. Often, though, you’re letting the other person know what they can reasonably expect from you or telling them what would make a given situation agreeable to you.
Boundaries are not “mean.”
Boundaries are honest. They facilitate positive interactions by reducing the likelihood of mixed signals, miscommunication, and disappointment. In fact, setting boundaries is an act of generosity for yourself and others. You could lie, shut down, or cut others out of your life when you’re not getting what you need. Instead, you’re doing the hard work to improve the situation.
As Brene Brown says, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” Boundaries create clarity. It’s kinder to give important people in your life—whether they be friends, romantic partners, relatives, your boss, even your hairdresser or personal trainer— the chance to have an authentic relationship with you. The alternative is letting them labor under the impression that you’re happy when you’re not. Think about how awful it feels to find out that a friend has been secretly upset with you, or your boss thinks you’ve been doing a lousy job, but you had no idea.
Brown uses the term “shared purpose” in the workplace context, but it is relevant to any of your relationships. When you prioritize “being nice” above being honest, people don’t ever really know where they stand with you. Relationships can only be successful and fulfilling when all parties are on the same page.
Boundaries are not selfish.
Other people’s needs are not more important than your own. Setting boundaries simply means putting your needs on par with others’.
This message can be hard to accept. Boundaries can feel selfish, especially if you aren’t used to asserting yourself. Others may act like you’re being selfish when your needs conflict with theirs. There’s nothing inherently selfish about candor. You can care about other people and be loving, helpful, and generous without exceeding your personal boundaries.
Sometimes you do use boundaries to create space to focus on yourself, and that’s not selfish either. Everyone deserves to prioritize their own wellbeing—all the time, but particularly when you’re dealing with illness (acute or chronic), grief, depression, or other issues. Who benefits if you collapse under the weight of trying to do it all?
Boundaries Don’t Mean You Never Compromise
You’re probably not going around setting boundaries in most of your day-to-day interactions. There’s no need. Boundaries are generally reserved for situations in which your time or physical or mental health need a buffer. Even then, nothing precludes you from seeking out mutually beneficial arrangements.
Even people who are great at boundaries don’t get their way all the time. They understand how to prioritize, but they’re willing to put their foot down when it matters.
Signs That You Aren’t Setting Healthy Boundaries
The following are signs that you’re in a situation where you probably need to establish better boundaries:
Resentment or simmering anger toward someone else
Consistently low energy/motivation to complete a task or interact with someone
Feeling disempowered, overwhelmed, or burned out
Saying “I have to…” or “I should…,” followed by dread, namely in situations where you don’t actually have to do that thing. You probably should pay your bills or call the dentist about your toothache. You don’t have to bake cupcakes for the bake sale or go to your parents’ house for Christmas.
How to Set Boundaries
1. Be honest with yourself.
Step one is asking yourself, “In what situations am I feeling overwhelmed or burned out? Toward whom do I feel resentful? Where do is my energy stretched too thin?”
Next, be totally candid with yourself, without judgment, about why you aren’t already setting better boundaries. You would have already done it if it felt easy. Something is making you avoid rather than confront the situation. Usually it’s that you don’t want the other person to be mad, hurt, or embarrassed, you strongly value being helpful or agreeable, or you fear social or professional repercussions.
2. Get clear on what you want.
In an ideal world, how would the situation be different? You can’t ask for what you want unless you know what that is.
For example, let’s say you have a coworker who repeatedly comes into your cubicle to chat, interrupting your workflow. Possible solutions (boundaries) include:
Request that they only email or text you during certain periods of the day.
Put a do not disturb sign on the back of your chair when you’re trying to focus, and ask them to respect that.
Schedule a standing morning coffee break with them, and ask them to let you work until then.
However, none of these is the right answer if what you really want is to keep your coworker relationships strictly professional, no idle chitchat necessary.
3. Ask for what you need.
Keep it clear and concise so the other person understands exactly what you’re requesting. Again, setting boundaries is not mean, so avoid apologizing or overexplaining. You can convey through your tone of voice and word choice that you feel neither angry nor aggressive.
Melissa Urban of Whole30 fame has a useful green-yellow-red system. Essentially, it means you employ the minimum effective dose needed to establish the boundary. Start by being gentle but direct if it’s your first time communicating the boundary and/or you suspect the other person is not intentionally overstepping. If you have to repeat yourself, or if the other person’s behavior is explicitly harmful, you should feel free to draw an even more explicit line in the sand.
Taking the coworker example, you might start by saying: “I love chatting with you, but I get my most focused work done in the morning. I need to be in the zone from 9 to 12. Will you jot down the things you want to remember to tell me, and we can catch up at lunch?”
If your coworker repeatedly “forgets” not to interrupt you:
“Remember, I said I need to concentrate in the mornings. Hold that thought until lunchtime.”
“I need my cubicle to be off-limits in the morning.”
“I can’t talk now.”
“Please don’t come into my cubicle just to chat.”
4. Hold firm
After you ask for what you want, there’s often an awkward pause, or sometimes the other person apologizes profusely. You might be tempted to add a concession that suggests maybe the boundary isn’t firm. That’s not clear, which means it’s not kind.
Do: “I have a hard time refocusing when I’m interrupted. When I’m wearing my headphones, that’s my sign I’m not available to chat. Let’s catch up at lunch.”
Don’t:“I have a hard time refocusing when I’m interrupted. When I’m wearing my headphones, that’s my sign I’m not available to chat. I mean, unless it’s really important. Don’t even worry about it.”
What If the Other Person Gets Upset?
They might, and that’s not your problem. You can only control how you communicate, not how the other person reacts.
Don’t expect them to react badly, though. Other people often respond with grace if you communicate your needs in a straightforward, non-blaming manner. Sometimes they will react with hurt, anger, or defensiveness. Your job here is to hold firm and stay in your truth. Don’t apologize or backpedal. “I understand it’s disappointing, but the answer is no. Maybe we could pick up this conversation again in a day or two.”
In healthy relationships, setting boundaries usually works. The recipient might initially respond poorly, and they may sometimes overstep by mistake. Just as setting healthy boundaries feels uncomfortable, being on the receiving end can be difficult too. Most people don’t have a lot of practice in either role. However, good relationship partners ultimately respect your boundaries.
When you keep having to set the same boundaries with someone over and over, or if they respond with extreme negativity, you need to ask yourself whether they are someone you want in your life. An inability to respect boundaries is a sign of a toxic relationship.
Setting Boundaries This Holiday Season
The holiday season can seriously test your boundary-setting skills. Between the increased demands on your time and extended family dynamics, a whole fortress could be in order! Here are some examples, from gentlest to firmest:
When You Want Certain Discussion Topics to Be Off the Table:
Example:
We’d love to see you, but we’re all feeling extremely burned out after this election cycle. We’ll only be able to attend if we can agree not to talk politics at the dinner table. If everyone is amenable to that, let me know, and I’ll start making travel arrangements.
We’ll come, but we aren’t staying if there’s a repeat of last year. We’re going to have to leave if anyone starts fighting about politics.
Honestly, I’m feeling skittish about how much animosity there has been lately. I’m going to pass on the holidays this year.
Example:
I know you’re concerned about my health, but it makes me uncomfortable when you bring up my weight. I’m taking care of myself, and I don’t want to discuss my body. Can we please change the subject?
I only discuss this topic with my doctor. I need you to respect that and not ask me about my weight anymore.
My body isn’t anyone else’s business, and comments about my weight are hurtful. Please stop.
Example:
No thanks, I’m not drinking right now. I don’t mind if other people are drinking, but I’m doing a personal experiment. I hope nobody tries to pressure me.
I’m not drinking right now, and I’d like everyone to respect that. Thanks.
Nobody else is affected if I don’t drink. Let’s please drop it and have a pleasant evening.
Safety, Personal Comfort Regarding COVID Measures
Example:
Thank you so much for the invitation, but with everything being so crazy right now, we’re going to stay home. Let’s plan to Zoom, though! When is best for you?
We’re disappointed too, but we have to do what makes us feel safe. This year, it’s staying home. We’ll miss everyone.
We’re not comfortable compromising on this. The answer is no, and we’re not going to change our minds.
Example:
Thanks for inviting us! We will come grab a cocktail in the backyard, but when people start to move inside, we’re going to head home.
We’d only feel safe coming if it was a small group and everyone is outdoors. If not, we’ll pass this time, but we look forward to seeing you a different time!
We’re not comfortable socializing in groups right now. Thanks for asking, though.
(Remember, “Thank you so much for inviting us, but we’re unable to attend” is a complete response. These suggestions are for when you want to offer more explanation or if the host is pressing you for more.)
Setting Aside “Me” Time, Protecting Your Schedule
Example:
Hey, [spouse/partner]. With holiday busyness, I’m having a hard time finding any time to exercise. It’s really affecting how I feel physically and mentally. Can we sit down and figure out where I can schedule 30-45 minutes to work out each day?
I need to exercise to stay healthy and happy. I’d like to set aside 7 to 7:45 a.m. as my workout time, which would mean you’d be in charge of getting the kids’ breakfast. Is that doable?
If I don’t get half an hour to myself to exercise every day, I’m going to lose it. The whole family will be happier if I disappear for 30 minutes after dinner. Cool?
Example:
The decorating committee sounds fun, but I’m already swamped. I’m not able to take on any extra projects. I’ll be happy to donate to the toy drive, though.
No, but I can’t wait to see what you’ll come up with. I’m sure it will be great!
I’m not able to help with holiday festivities this year.
Saying No to Obligations/Forced Holiday Fun
Example:
Oh gee, no thanks, I don’t want to participate in the office Secret Santa this year. Have fun!
Secret Santa’s not really my thing, but thanks for thinking of me.
No.
Example:
The annual cookie swap is so much fun, but I just don’t have time to make 10 dozen cookies. Maybe I could swing by for a glass of wine.
I won’t be able make it. Can’t wait to see the pictures on Facebook!
No.
It’s normal to feel nervous if this is new territory for you. These conversations can be uncomfortable even for boundary-setting pros. Give yourself a pep talk. Remind yourself that candor allows you and the people around you to be more authentic. Boundaries can improve relationships, or they can release you both to pursue more compatible ones.
When you set boundaries, you implicitly encourage others to set their own. Go into these conversations with the mindset that you’re being constructive. Most of all, remind yourself that maintaining harmony isn’t a path to true happiness when peace comes at the expense of your wellbeing. It’s far better to do the (hard) work to build relationships built on honesty, mutual respect, and shared purpose.
Originally Posted At: https://breakingmuscle.com/feed/rss
When your bench press plateaus, the good news is it’s easily fixed by identifying the underlying problem and implementing effective solutions to address them.
Have you ever said any of the following about your bench press?
“I almost had it, I just mis-grooved the lift.”
“I always get pinned at the bottom of my bench.”
“I can touch and go this weight, but when I pause my bench, I’m so much weaker.”
Originally Posted At: https://breakingmuscle.com/feed/rss
Mater motivator Ray “Cash” Care tells you how to harness your pain and build belief in yourself to conquer life, and he will get in your face until you do it.
In this episode, I’m joined by Ray “Cash” Care. Ray is a navy seal veteran who has leveraged his experience and passion to become an expert on self-improvement, team-building, and fitness.
You can do mornings one of two ways. You can pour plain coffee into your mug with the sole purpose of jumpstarting your day. Or, you can wrap your fingers around a frothy mug of warm, sweet-spiced coffee and gift yourself a well-deserved moment of calm and quiet before you dive into your responsibilities. Today, we’re going with the hug-in-a-mug option. This snickerdoodle latte warms your soul and tastes like a holiday cookie.
If you can mix cream into your coffee, you can make this snickerdoodle latte. It’ll be your new favorite way to great the day.
1 cup milk of choice (I used a full fat almond milk)
ground cinnamon to taste
Directions
Brew your favorite cup of coffee.
Mix the Primal Kitchen Snickerdoodle Collagen Fuel, vanilla extract, and any sweetener you choose to use into the coffee.
Warm your milk in a small saucepan. To froth the milk, you can use a frothing wand, an immersion blender, or a French press (see tips below for how to froth your milk in a french press).
Pour the coffee into two cups. Pour the frothed milk on top. Sprinkle some cinnamon on top and enjoy. So easy!
Tips:
Types of milk to use (Here, we used a full fat almond milk.)
Whole Milk
Light canned coconut milk
Full fat store-bought or homemade nut milk.
How to froth milk using a French press, Immersion Blender, and Frother Wand
French press: Warm your milk in a small saucepan until it is warm. Pour it into the carafe and insert the plunger piece. Plunge the milk about halfway up and down vigorously for 10 seconds or so, or until a fine foam forms.
Immersion blender or frother wand: Warm your milk in a small saucepan. Place it into a mug or heat-safe cup. Place the immersion blender/wand into the milk and blend until frothy.
Nutrition Info (for ½ of recipe, will vary based on type of milk used):
Calories: 137 Total Fat: 8g Total Carbs: 4g Net Carbs: 3g Protein: 13g
There aren’t many movements that showcase a combination of strength, stability, coordination, and skill quite like the pistol squat.
As a performance goal, the pistol squat presents you with an amazing opportunity to challenge yourself and see what you’re capable of with hard work and consistent practice — all while building some serious lower body strength and balance along the way.
Mastering the pistol squat is a very popular goal, but getting started and figuring out how to progress can feel overwhelming. Whether you want to achieve your very first pistol squat or increase the number of reps you can do, in this article, I’ll give you step-by-step guidance to get there.
Plus, I’ve added a fun bonus challenge you can tackle when you’re ready!
What Is a Pistol Squat?
A pistol squat is an advanced, unilateral, lower-body exercise in which you perform a single-leg squat, descending until your glute almost touches your heel (i.e., a “rock-bottom” position) while holding the opposite leg out in front of you. It requires strength in your quads, glutes, hamstrings, hip flexors, calves, and core, and your feet and ankles do a lot of stabilizing work.
Essentially, the pistol squat is a strength skill — an exercise requiring both strength and skill — that can be developed through consistent practice. But there’s a twist. Unlike other strength skills, the pistol squat also requires balance (a whole lot of it) and mobility. This combination makes it a particularly challenging exercise!
What to Know Before You Pistol Squat
Two questions come up frequently regarding pistol squats, so let’s address those first.
Question #1. Do Pistol Squats Hurt Your Knee?
The most common question about the pistol squat is, “But won’t that hurt the knee?”
This is a valid concern considering many people have been taught — often, adamantly so — that the knees should never travel past the toes when squatting. However, experience has shown that for individuals who don’t have knee issues, deep squats can absolutely be safe.
That said, certain exercises may never be appropriate for every unique body.
Pistol squats may not be right for you if you currently have (or have a history of) pain and discomfort in your:
Knees
Hips
Lower back
Ankles
Feet
Question #2. What’s the Appropriate Footwear?
Many people wonder if they should wear shoes or go barefoot when doing pistol squats.
Pistol squats are best performed with your foot (including ball and heel) rooted firmly into the floor, with all toes pressing down. Because of this, a shoe with a thick, squishy sole will make it significantly harder to balance during a pistol squat. Most folks tend to have better balance barefoot or while wearing shoes with a very thin and flexible sole.
When you’re starting out, you might find that wearing a sturdy shoe with a slightly elevated heel (for example, a Nike Metcon or an Olympic-lifting shoe) will give you a slight advantage and can compensate for a lack of mobility. That said, we encourage you to work on your mobility so you’re not relying on a specific shoe in order to perform a pistol squat.
Interested in working one-on-one with me, Head Coach Jen Comas, to accomplish your health and fitness goals? Learn more about our GGS Coaching program.
7 Progressions to Help You Master the Pistol Squat
Before we dive into how to do a full pistol squat, let’s start with the progressions you can use to make sure you’re advancing safely, rather than tackling the pistol squat before you’re ready. The following exercises will help you develop the strength and stability necessary for safe pistols.
Throughout this article, you’ll notice I encourage you to create tension in your arms and squeeze your fists. Maintaining tension in your arms and fists will help you balance. To better understand this idea, think about someone walking a tightrope — their arms are never soft and loose at their sides; instead, their arms are extended with plenty of tension throughout.
1. Narrow-Stance Squat with Counterweight
Before you can get to a rock-bottom squat with one leg, you have to be able to do it with two! That’s why I recommend starting with a narrow-stance squat using a counterweight.
Here’s how you do it:
Stand with your feet together.
Hold a light plate or dumbbell (10 pounds or lighter) out in front of you to use as a counterweight, which will help with balance.
Descend into a rock-bottom position while keeping your feet firmly planted on the floor. Avoid lifting your toes, rocking around on your feet, or raising your heels.
Stand up in a smooth and controlled manner. Resist the temptation to “bounce” out of the bottom position.
Aim for 5–8 reps, keeping the reps smooth and controlled. When you can do that, set aside the counterweight and try it with just your bodyweight.
Once you can perform the narrow-stance squat (either with or without a counterweight) for 5–8 reps, you’re ready to move on to the next progression.
Note: The narrow-stance squat, with or without a counterweight, will always be a fantastic warm-up movement. I encourage you to include 5–8 reps of it before doing any additional pistol squat work.
2. Slow Single-Leg Romanian Deadlift to Single-Leg Balance
Excellent balance is non-negotiable for the pistol squat. Like so many other skills, balance is something you can improve significantly with consistent training. One drill I love for developing balance is the slow single-leg Romanian deadlift to single-leg balance.
Here’s how you do it:
Stand with your feet about hip-width apart.
Firmly plant your right foot into the floor.
Extend your right arm out to your side and create tension throughout your arm, squeezing your hand into a fist.
Keep your head and spine in a neutral position and lock your gaze onto something that isn’t moving, preferably something on the floor several feet in front of you.
Keep your hips and shoulders square, hinge at your hips, and lift your left foot off the floor, raising it behind you as your upper body tilts forward.
Stop once you can’t push your hips back any further or when your upper body is parallel with the floor.
Reverse the movement to stand up straight.
As you stand, raise your left knee until your thigh is parallel with the floor and balance for 3–5 seconds on your right foot.
Aim for 5–8 reps per side, keeping the reps smooth and controlled.
If the full drill is too challenging right now, eliminate the single-leg Romanian deadlift portion and just work on the single-leg balance part of the drill for 5–8 reps per leg, holding each rep 5–10 seconds. You can do this throughout the day while completing other tasks, such as brushing your teeth or waiting for your coffee to brew.
Once you can perform both the narrow-stance squat for 5–8 reps and the slow single-leg Romanian deadlift to single-leg balance for 5–8 reps per side, you’re ready to move on to the third progression.
Note: Much like the narrow-stance squat, this balance exercise will always be a fantastic warm-up movement or an exercise to revisit periodically to continue working on your balance.
3. Alternating Single-Leg Balance with Counterweight
The alternating single-leg balance drill will help you develop strength and balance in the bottom position of the pistol squat. It’s also excellent for developing the hip flexor strength necessary to hold the opposite leg out in front of you.
Here’s how you do it:
Stand with your feet together.
With a firm grip, hold a light weight out in front of you as a counterweight and create tension through your arms.
Slowly descend into a rock-bottom position while keeping your feet firmly planted on the floor.
Once you’re in the rock-bottom position, slowly extend one leg out in front of you for a few seconds.
Work to hold steady and eliminate any wiggling.
Bring your leg back to the rock-bottom squat position and extend your opposite leg.
Alternate legs, holding each rep for 2–5 seconds for a total of 3–6 reps on each side. When you can perform this drill, set aside the counterweight and try it with just your bodyweight.
Once you can perform the alternating single-leg balance (either with or without a counterweight) for 3–6 reps per side, you’re ready to move on to the next progression.
4. Box-Assisted Pistol Squat
You’ve made it this far, and you’re well on your way to achieving a pistol squat! It’s time to start tying everything together with box-assisted pistol squats.
In a box-assisted pistol squat, you perform a single-leg squat down to a box (or chair), then you stand back up.
Start with a box height that allows you to squat until your thighs are parallel with the floor. As you progress, slowly lower the height of the box to make it more challenging.
Here’s how you do it:
Place the box behind you.
Stand close to the box with your feet together.
Firmly press your right foot into the floor. Imagine you are rooted to the ground through your toes, the ball of your foot, and your heel.
Balancing on your right leg, lift your left leg and extend it out in front of you, flexing your left foot.
Extend your arms out in front of you and squeeze your hands into fists, creating tension through your arms.
Descend into a single-leg squat until you sit down on the box behind you.
Once you’re seated, squeeze your fists a little tighter, engage through your core, and use the strength and balance of your right leg to stand back up.
Aim for 5–8 reps per side.
Once you can perform this drill with a box height that has you squatting below parallel, you’re ready to move on to the next progression.
5. Pistol Squat to a Box
The pistol squat to a box is different from a box-assisted pistol squat. In this drill, you won’t sit down on the box — you’ll just lightly tap it with your glutes before standing back up. This is the next step in building strength and balance, taking you one step closer to your pistol squat.
For this drill, you’ll need a box height that allows you to squat until your thighs are parallel (or just below parallel) with the floor.
Here’s how you do it:
Place the box behind you.
Stand close to the box with your feet together.
Firmly press your right foot into the floor. Imagine you are rooted to the ground through your toes, the ball of your foot, and your heel.
Balancing on your right leg, lift your left leg and extend it, flexing your foot.
Extend your arms out in front of you and squeeze your hands into fists, creating tension through your arms.
Descend into a single-leg squat until you can lightly tap the box with your glutes. (Remember, you’re not sitting all the way down!)
As soon as your glutes make contact with the box, squeeze your fists a little tighter, engage through your core, and use the strength and balance of your right leg to stand back up.
Aim for 3–5 reps per side.
Once you can perform this drill with a box height that has you squatting below parallel, you’re ready to move on to the next progression.
6. Assisted Pistol Squat
You’ve been working so hard to get here. It’s time to put all that practice to the test with the assisted pistol squat.
The assisted pistol squat is an awesome way to train the movement pattern and get you practicing full pistol squats with just a little bit of help as you continue to fine-tune the strength and skill required.
You have a few options for assistance: something sturdy, like the side of a squat rack (as shown in the demo video below); a suspension trainer, such as a TRX system; or even your workout partner’s hand.
Here’s how you do it:
Stand with your feet together.
Firmly press your right foot into the floor. Imagine you are rooted to the ground through your toes, the ball of your foot, and your heel.
Grab the side of the squat rack (or your chosen assistance option) with your right hand.
Extend your left arm out in front of you and squeeze your left hand into a fist, creating tension through your arm.
Balancing on your right leg, lift your left leg and extend it, flexing your foot.
Descend into a single-leg squat.
Once you reach the rock-bottom position, squeeze your left fist a little tighter, engage through your core, and use the strength and balance of your right leg to stand back up. At the same time, use your right hand on the squat rack to get as much assistance as you need to pull yourself back up.
Aim for 3–5 reps per side. Most folks find it’s best to alternate legs each rep to give their working leg a little break.
Once you feel comfortable with this drill, it’s time to try full pistol squats!
7. Pistol Squat With Counterweight
You made it! Are you ready? Of course, you are!
When attempting your first pistol squat, a counterweight can be incredibly helpful for finding and keeping your balance. Grab a dumbbell, a kettlebell, a weight plate, or anything else that’s easy to hold. We recommend a light counterweight. For most folks, 5–10 pounds is perfect for starting out.
Here’s how you do it:
Holding your counterweight, stand with your feet together.
Firmly press your right foot into the floor. Imagine you are rooted to the ground through your toes, the ball of your foot, and your heel.
Get a firm grip on your counterweight and extend your arms out in front of you, creating tension through your arms.
Balancing on your right leg, lift your left leg and extend it, flexing your foot.
Descend into your pistol squat.
Once you get to the rock-bottom position, squeeze your counterweight a little tighter, engage through your core, and use the strength and balance of your right leg to stand back up.
Now, try the same thing on the other side!
Don’t be surprised if your pistol squat feels a lot stronger on one side — being stronger or having better balance and coordination on one side is common and to be expected. Continue training both sides.
Once you’re ready to ditch your counterweight, it’s time to try a pistol squat with just your bodyweight.
How to Do a Proper Pistol Squat
Now comes the really fun part — the full pistol squat! If you’ve worked through the progressions, a lot of this will feel familiar to your body by now.
Here’s how you do it:
Stand with your feet together.
Firmly press your right foot into the floor. Imagine you are rooted to the ground through your toes, the ball of your foot, and your heel.
Balancing on your right leg, lift your left leg and extend it out in front of you, flexing your foot.
Extend your arms and squeeze your hands into fists, creating tension from your shoulders to your hands.
Descend into your pistol squat.
Once you reach the rock-bottom position (or as low as your body safely allows you to go), squeeze your fists a little tighter, engage through your core, and use the strength and balance of your right leg to stand back up.
Repeat for reps, or change sides.
You did it! Congratulations!
Now that you’re familiar with pistol squat progressions and the pistol squat, let’s go over some common mistakes and roadblocks to refine your technique and help keep you strong and safe.
3 Common Pistol Squat Mistakes to Avoid
There’s no denying it: The pistol squat is a tricky exercise, and technique errors can easily slip into your training. Let’s go over three common mistakes and how to avoid them.
Mistake #1: Bouncing Out of the Bottom Position
The first common mistake is bouncing out of the bottom position, or in other words, descending very quickly into the rock-bottom position and attempting to use the body’s momentum (instead of strength) to stand back up.
This approach is quite risky and can make your joints very unhappy. Instead of using momentum, slow down. Try to increase your strength and control your tempo so you can perform your pistol squats safely.
Mistake #2: Moving Around on the Stabilizing Foot
The second common mistake is rocking and rolling around or lifting the toes on the stabilizing foot. This is typically a form of compensation for a lack of balance — except it does the opposite.
The less surface area your foot has in contact with the floor, the harder it will be to balance. Focus on improving your balance with the drills outlined above so you’ll feel strong and stable when standing on one foot.
Mistake #3: Attempting Pistol Squats Without Adequate Mobility
Lastly, I often see folks attempt pistol squats without having the required mobility to perform them correctly.
Providing a solution for every mobility challenge standing between you and a pistol squat is beyond the scope of this article. However, I’ve included some warm-up exercises (along with video demos) below that you may find helpful for improving your mobility. If you’re experiencing mobility limitations, we recommend working with a trainer or a physiotherapist to help you address your specific needs.
Warm-up
Bodyweight squat x 10
Deep squat with rotation x 10 per side
Ankle rock x 10 per side
Squat to forward fold x 10
Downward dog with heel drop x 10 per side
Are you a health and fitness professional? Make sure you avoid these five coaching mistakes when you work with female clients.
Troubleshooting Roadblocks
Even with step-by-step guidance, you might run into two common roadblocks. Let’s troubleshoot!
Roadblock #1: Difficulty Holding the Opposite Leg Up
Some folks get all the way to a pistol squat, only to realize it’s not the squatting that’s giving them trouble. Instead, they’re struggling to hold the opposite leg in position.
If that’s the case for you, try practicing pistol squats off a box.
Solution: Pistol Squats Off a Box
Pistol squats off a box allow you to keep practicing and building strength with the movement and provide a little wiggle room so you don’t have to hold your opposite leg up quite as high.
As you continue practicing your pistol squats, you’ll develop hip flexor strength, which will help you keep your leg extended.
For this drill, you’ll need a box that’s about 12 inches tall — just enough to give your leg a little room if it needs to drop down.
Here’s how you do it:
Holding your counterweight, step onto the box and stand with your feet together.
Firmly press your right foot into the box. Imagine you are rooted to the ground through your toes, the ball of your foot, and your heel.
Grip your counterweight firmly and extend your arms, creating tension from your shoulders to your hands.
Balancing on your right leg, lift your left leg and extend it out in front of you, flexing your foot.
Descend into your pistol squat.
Once you get to the rock-bottom position, squeeze your counterweight a little tighter, engage through your core, and use the strength and balance of your right leg to stand back up.
Aim for 3–5 reps per side, alternating sides between reps.
Roadblock #2: Trouble in the Bottom Position
Some folks can get down into a pistol squat but feel very unstable in that rock-bottom position. They struggle to come up out of it. If that’s the case for you, we recommend the seated pistol drill.
Solution: The Seated Pistol Drill
The seated pistol drill is an excellent way to develop strength, stability, and confidence in the rock-bottom position.
Here’s how you do it:
Sit on the floor and extend your left leg out in front of you, flexing your foot.
Bend your right knee and draw your heel in close to your glutes, keeping your right foot flat on the floor.
Extend your arms out in front of you, and squeeze your hands into fists to create tension through your arms.
Engage through your core, press your right foot into the floor, and lift your hips and left leg off the floor (get that left foot up too!).
Hold for 3–5 seconds, then return to a seated position.
Switch sides.
Aim for 3–5 reps per side, alternating legs between reps if you need to.
Bonus Challenge: Rollback Pistols
After all this hard work, let’s have a little fun with a drill called the rollback pistol! This is a great way to include some playtime in your training. It can also have beneficial carryover to your pistol squat practice because it requires a lot of awareness to “stick” the landing.
Here’s how you do it:
Stand with your feet together.
Extend your arms out in front of you, and squeeze your hands into fists to create tension through your arms.
Slowly lower yourself down into your narrow-stance squat.
Gently land your glutes onto the floor behind you.
Tuck your chin into your chest and let yourself roll backward; then, using a little momentum, roll forward.
As you roll forward, extend your left leg and bend your right knee.
Root your right foot firmly into the floor.
Engage through your core, squeeze your fists, and use your strength to lift your left leg off the ground.
Hold for a second or two, and then tuck your chin and roll back again.
While pistol squats can be intimidating initially, with consistent training — and some patience — you can absolutely get there! Listen to your body, work through the progressions we covered, and take all the time you need to make sure you’ll be strong and safe when you’re ready to tackle the full pistol squat. And remember to have fun — enjoy the process and take pleasure in all the amazing things your body can do!
So it’s time to exercise, but you’re confined to a small space?
No problem!
In our Online Coaching Program, where I am a senior coach, we help folks work out in whatever nook and cranny they may have available. Today, we’ll share these tips with you too.
And no, we won’t make you shrink like Ant-Man to do your workout.
“Baby, air and light and time and space have nothing to do with it and don’t create anything except maybe a longer life to find new excuses for.”
– Charles Bukowski
“Space, the final frontier”
– James Tiberius Kirk
When it comes to working out in a small space, the first obstacle you have to overcome is your mindset:
You may find yourself thinking, “I can’twork out in this space.”
We want to flip this to “I getto be more creative in this space.”
This may seem like a minor change of perspective, but oftentimes the most important part of overcoming a challenge is adjusting our mindset. I see this over and over again with our coaching clients.
So Step 1 for our Small Space Workout is becoming okay with whatever room we may have to exercise.
Step 2 is determining WHERE our actual Small Space Workout will take place.
That might lead you to a question:
How much space do you need to exercise and work out?
Answer: not much.
I grew up working out in a room not much bigger than a closet:
Which now acts as a storeroom.
If you have enough room to do a plank, you’re good:
However, even if you can’t spread out for a plank, that’s okay. We can always use the small space itself for “equipment,” like with wall push-ups:
Speaking of, I can already anticipate your next question:
What’s the minimum equipment needed for a work out?
The trick is to get your setup right, by pushing your hips back and chest out. Then you perform the same upward motion as you would in a normal deadlift.
I walk you through how to do a towel deadlift right here:
I apologize if you rip your towel in half doing this because you’re so strong (but like, worth it).
The other cool thing you can do with towels? Chin-ups!
Naturally, I have a video on doing towel chin-ups right here:
But you don’t need towels to do a Level 2 Small Space Workout.
Here are two ways to level up your “no-space” training:
#1) Think One-Sided
We’re going to do some unilateral training by working one limb at a time.
Squats no problem? How about a one-legged squat?
We can do the same thing with our push muscles, by doing one-arm push-ups:
#2) Change the Tempo
We have a couple of options here.
Slow down. By slowing down your cadence, you’re going to increase the time under tension of your muscles. That equals a tougher workout, which equals a win.
Have you ever taken a full 60 seconds to do a push-up? It’s gnarly:
Hold the movement. The other option would be to hold your position at the top or bottom of an exercise.
For example, holding a chin-up at the top position:
Or holding a squat at the bottom position:
If you add a 10-second pause during each rep, you’re going to wear yourself out MUCH quicker, small space or no small space.
Small Space Workout Level 3: May the Force Be With You
Do you have access to a hallway that you can commandeer for a bit?
It’s designed to be done in a small space, like a hallway, or an escape pod.
At this level, if you were going to buy some equipment for a small home-gym, my number one recommendation would be to purchase some resistance or exercise bands:
They don’t take up much space and can offer you a lot of versatility for Small Space Workouts.
For example, you can do deadlifts using a resistance band:
Or presses:
Or rows:
Boom! There’s your lower-body, push, and pull exercises we talked about earlier. Plus, we’re barely scratching the surface of all the exercises you can do with a sturdy exercise band.
We’d all love a tremendous amount of space to work out.
However, we work with whatever we have, whenever we can, wherever we are.
So remember, if Tony Stark can build a robot in a cave with a pile of scraps, then we can scrap together a workout with next to nothing as well.
Or build our own suits out of cardboard.
Which I’ve done.
Just remember, you got this.
If you want any help in working out in a small space, we got your back.
Here’s how to continue your training with Nerd Fitness.
Next Step #1) Our Online Coaching Program: if you want someone to design you a workout (like me!) for any small space, we got you!
You can schedule a free call with our team so we can get to know you and see if our coaching program is right for you. Just click on the image below for more details:
Next Step Number #2) If you want a daily prompt for doing workouts in any space, check out NF Journey. Our fun habit-building app helps you exercise more frequently, eat healthier, and level up your life (literally).
Try your free trial right here:
Next Step Number #3) Join the Rebellion! We need good people like you in our community, the Nerd Fitness Rebellion. You’ll meet individuals who train at the gym, in their cramped basement, or in outer space (that last one may or may not be true, but we do HAVE Rebels working out on boats in the middle of the ocean and even Antarctica!).
Sign up in the box below to enlist and get our Rebel Starter Kit, which includes all of our “work out at home” guides, the Nerd Fitness Diet Cheat Sheet, and much more!
Get your Nerd Fitness Starter Kit
The 15 mistakes you don’t want to make.
Full guide to the most effective diet and why it works.
Complete and track your first workout today, no gym required.
Alright, I want to hear from you:
Do you train in a small space?
What’s your “no space” workout look like?
Any tips or tricks for training in a phonebooth we should know of?
Let me know in the comments!
-Jim
PS: If you want any more help training at home with little to no equipment, check out:
For now classes are 6pm and 640pm at 2840 Wildwood st in the Boise Cloggers studio.
Book your class NOW!
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Warrior Fit Testimonials
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When I was first told about Tabata I was very excited from the word go, however that excitement stemmed from the fact that I had no clue what it meant. I missed the first week of class b/c I was traveling for work so when I came in during the 2nd week I had some making it up to do.
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Warrior Fit uses High Intensity Music to get ya Moooovin' So we can all "Get Our Sweat On"
The link below will give ya a freeee shot at Audible plus a couple audio books just to try it out and if you haven't used audio books on your commutes you are missing out. Get pumped up before you get to where you are going and exercise your mind. I use it Everyday. Go get yours now!
This whole year has felt like a continuous cycle of repetitiveness. Wake up, brush teeth, put on a clean-ish shirt, and begin the day. It’s become so monotonous that most of the time, you don’t really need to think about what you’re doing, you just do it. You’re on total autopilot. And before you know it, you’re scarfing down a low-fat muffin or skipping your workout entirely because your next Zoom call is about to start — even though you had loose aspirations of having this be the week you got up early to exercise or set aside time for a solid protein-packed breakfast before work.
Stress is physical. It’s caused by physical phenomena in the material world. It manifests as a physiological response using physical hormones and neurotransmitters and other chemical messengers in the body. It changes biomarkers, neurochemistry, behavior, appetites, and our perception of the world around us. Stress can make us fly off the handle at something that we wouldn’t even notice in a normal state of mind. Stress can make us eat food we’d never normally consider eating.
When you were a kid, adults probably drilled into you that you should “be nice,” share your toys, and put yourself in other people’s shoes. Those are necessary lessons, of course. Humans are prosocial creatures. Our ancestors needed the protection of the clan, so they had to get along and be team players. Individuals who caused strife within the group risked being kicked out, which could be a death sentence.
You can do mornings one of two ways. You can pour plain coffee into your mug with the sole purpose of jumpstarting your day. Or, you can wrap your fingers around a frothy mug of warm, sweet-spiced coffee and gift yourself a well-deserved moment of calm and quiet before you dive into your responsibilities. Today, we’re going with the hug-in-a-mug option. This snickerdoodle latte warms your soul and tastes like a holiday cookie.
For now classes are 6pm and 640pm at 2840 Wildwood st in the Boise Cloggers studio.
Book your class NOW!
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