Originally posted at: http://www.nerdfitness.com/

In 1933, an overwhelmed and frustrated woman named Frau sent a letter to psychologist Carl Jung, asking “how to live.”

(She didn’t have any Instagram influencers to yell motivational platitudes at her, I guess)

Jung replied:

“Your questions are unanswerable, because you want to know how one ought to live. One lives as one can.

…if you do with conviction the next and most necessary thing, you are always doing something meaningful and intended by fate.”

He was sharing the key to life.

It’s part of recovery communities like Alcoholics Anonymous.

It was even the title of a song in ​Disney’s Frozen 2​.

“The next right thing.”

Revisiting this story caused me to reflect on how much my thoughts on success and progress have changed over the years.

“Success” Redefined

I’ve been doing this Nerd Fitness stuff for 15+ years.

Millions of people visit the site every year, 50,000+ customers have bought stuff through NF, and our coaches have served 15,000+ 1-on-1 clients.

In that time, I’ve changed my perspective quite a bit on “success” and “living well.”

I used to think that the only path to success required militant discipline following a specific plan. I never missed a workout, and was unbelievably proud of this.

It didn’t occur to me just how much of a ​privileged and simple life​ I lived, where I was 100% in control of my time.

(Apologies to all the parents and caregivers who read my 25-year old perspective!).

Now that I’m 40, and I can see the types of people we actually help with Nerd Fitness, I’ve changed my perspective on success and “living well” fairly dramatically.

Success happens not when we learn how to do everything perfectly, but instead when we get better at staying afloat even when things go poorly.

In other words, success is learning to be inconsistently consistent. Learning to be good enough for long enough.

And that means, when life seems chaotic, narrowing our focus down to “the next right thing.”

Do the Next Right Thing

A ​recent newsletter​ from author Oliver Burkeman talked about how he’s chosen to retain a tiny bit of sanity in an overwhelming world.

It led me to these sentences from author Eckert Tolle:

“What you refer to as your “life” should more accurately be called your “life situation.” It is psychological time: past and future.

…Forget about your life situation for a while and pay attention to your life.

Find the “narrow gate that leads to life.” It is called the Now.

Narrow your life down to this moment. Your life situation may be full of problems — most life situations are — but find out if you have any problem at this moment. Not tomorrow or in ten minutes, but now.

Do you have a problem now?

When we ruminate on what already happened, and we freak out about all the things that could happen or need to happen in the future…

It’s easy to feel out of control and overwhelmed.

Which brings us back to that cliché solution: “the next right thing.”

It’s a cliché only because it’s true.

We can zoom wayyyyyy in, and narrow our focus to something that is still in our control. In some situations, yes, there is a problem right now. And we can just focus on that one thing.

But in many other situations, it’s often us worrying about all the problems that might be, or the problems outside of our control, that keeps us from taking action on the actual things we can control.

Burkeman continues:

As for telling myself I only needed to do the very next thing… you always only can do the very next thing, then the next, whether you like it or not.

It’s a little strange, actually, to refer to any of these techniques as “narrowing your horizons”, as if they involved somehow artificially limiting yourself.

Really, you’re just consciously recognizing how limited you always already were.

We all know how easy it is for us to ​overcomplicate things​.

And when the world feels like a dumpster fire, it can help to zoom way into that next decision, the tiniest goal, and just do the next right thing.

It might involve a workout or a walk, focusing on the next meal, calling up our therapist, or ​finally saying no​ to a commitment.

If “now” is the only time that exists, then “the next right thing” is the only thing that we can really do.

I’m gonna go do the next right thing for me: take a walk.

-Steve

PS: Maria Popova has ​a great writeup about “the next right thing”​ as it pertains to her life as a writer that inspired this piece.

PPS: Nerd Fitness is hiring a few remote, part-time humans (especially with flexible nights and weekends) to take inbound, scheduled calls from potential clients interested about our 1-on-1 coaching. ​Click here to learn more​.

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The post The most important skill for getting (and staying) healthy first appeared on Nerd Fitness.

Originally posted at: http://www.nerdfitness.com/

I’m currently reading ​The Tainted Cup​, a fantasy detective novel.

Think “Sherlock Holmes set in Westeros.”

The main character has this augmentation that allows him to absorb every single detail of every interaction, crime scene, and then recite back these exact details at a later date.

I remember a horrifying Black Mirror episode about this very thing: being able to recall every fact of every interaction in the past.

Here’s the thing: in all of these scenarios, the facts might be true, but the analysis of these facts still leaves plenty of room for improvement.

I thought about this a lot recently when I stumbled across two stories I want to share:

“​The Past is Not True​” from Derek Sivers:

When I was 17, I was driving recklessly and crashed into an oncoming car. I found out that I broke the other driver’s spine, and she’ll never walk again.

I carried that burden with me everywhere, and felt so horrible about it for so many years that at age 35 I decided to find this woman to apologize. I found her name and address, went to her house, knocked on the door, and a middle-aged woman answered. As soon as I said, “I’m the teenager that hit your car eighteen years ago and broke your spine”, I started sobbing – a big ugly cry, surfacing years of regret.

She was so sweet, and hugged me saying, “Oh sweetie, sweetie! Don’t worry. I’m fine!” Then she walked me into her living room. Walked.

Turns out I had misunderstood.

Yes she fractured a couple vertebrae but it never stopped her from walking. She said “that little accident” helped her pay more attention to her fitness, and since then has been in better health than ever.

Then she apologized for causing the accident in the first place. Apologized.

And this ​story about “the good ole days”​ from author Morgan Housel:

A few months ago I reminisced to my wife about how awesome [life was in our early 20s]. We were 23, gainfully employed, living in our version of the Taj Mahal. This was before kids, so we slept in until 10am on the weekends, went for a walk, had brunch, took a nap, and went out for dinner. That was our life. For years.

“That was peak living, as good as it gets,” I told her.

“What are you talking about?” she said. “You were more anxious, scared, and probably depressed then than you’ve ever been.”

…In my head, today, I look back and think, “I must have been so happy then. Those were my best years.”

But in reality, at the time, I was thinking, “I can’t wait for these years to end.”

It has me thinking a lot about the past, and our future. It turns out, neither one is set in stone!

Which Past Story can you rewrite?

As the cliché goes, it’s easier to connect the dots looking backward than it is looking forward.

Is there a story from your past about a particular moment you’re still carrying with you?

Maybe it’s one full of shame about something that happened, but it led to something even better for you.

Maybe it’s longing for a past life that never actually existed.

The past already happened, but that doesn’t mean it’s set in stone!

Returning to Sivers:

“You can change your history.

The actual factual events are such a small part of it. Everything else is perspective, open for re-interpretation.

The past is never done.”

I’d love to know which story you’re telling yourself about the past, good or bad, that you’re deciding to rewrite?

-Steve

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