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What can your vegetable crush tell you about your real-life fantasy love life? It might sound unorthodox — choosing a soul mate based on produce — but in the age of left- and right-swiping for the person with the least offensive “thinking-of-adopting-this-dog” face, it sounds admittedly pleasant to let your cruciferous crush inform future romantic entanglements.

To help you imagine implementing this highly effective and scientific strategy in your own life, we’ve compiled a list of veggie all-stars and the major heartthrobs you ought to partner up with. (To be taken with a grain of salt, a dash of pepper, and a splash of Sriracha.)

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