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“What kind of Indian are you?” my now-husband said to me in college when he learned of my low (read: non-existent) tolerance for spice in my food. His palate preferred piquancy and pungency.

“A bad one?” I answered.

Geography was partly responsible for the discrepancy. Our South Asian-American families hail from opposite ends of the subcontinent: mine from Sindh in present-day Pakistan, via Maharashtra; my husband’s from Kerala, on India’s southwestern coast. It is generally understood that South Indian cuisine is hotter than North Indian cuisine.

Family dynamics (and tastes) also came into play. Because several members of our household — my father, my uncle — didn’t like fiery foods, my mother and grandmother, who did all of the cooking, often eliminated the black pepper or chili pepper from family meals. So I never became accustomed to the heat that is such a hallmark of many South Asian cuisines.

In the dozen years we have been married, my hankering for heat has certainly increased. Eating his family’s foods and traveling (and eating) through southern India has made me appreciate more zing to my meal — and even incorporate some South Indian spice into my own cooking.

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