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Dinner parties are about gathering friends and family to eat, drink, and be merry. What matters isn’t how the napkins are folded and whether or not you put out the good china — or is it? In between the apps and dessert, those guests are most likely taking some mental notes.

We asked a collection of friends, family members, and complete strangers about the most memorable things at dinner parties, both good and bad. Here are five things guests definitely notice.

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